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xElegantUsagix's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Lesage, WV
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 26
LOC: Lesage, WV
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 26
There’s not much to me other than I write what I dream or what I feel. I usually don’t finish my novels…I have a lot of poetry..and I guess a part of me still would love to be a published novelist.
I’ve been working on a few things that I’m debating on posting although they are unfinished.
I’m still trucking through life and trying to figure out what I’m meant to do with everything I’ve been gifted with. Each day is a new adventure.
Music is a huge factor in how I write.
There is a trilogy of books I’ve been working on still up in the air. It’s called ”The Trilogy of Wings.”
I’m kind and nice. I’m no where near perfect. I’m still discovering who I really am.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
As I pull the blade across my wrist The blood begins to flow. As I pull the blade across my wrist Everyone will know That no deed, good or bad goes unpunished And the blood always flows And the pain never goes And the sorrow never dies But lingers in your soul As I pull the blade across my wrist Everyone will know That I die in pain and sorrow That I could no longer live And that I die like a rose In pain that never goes And in sorrow that stays in the soul As I pull the blade across my wrist...
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Version 1
13 Reviews
2 Comments
About a year ago I was trying to finish breaking the ties to a bad relationship I had. We were the typical story: high school sweeties, he was verbally/emotionally abusive and I was just way too blind to see it. While I was severing the final ties and making myself hold fast to my decision I began writing again. Writing and I have a love/hate relationship. I love it yet what I write almost always comes out like something I've just read, to which I get frustrated and walk away. During this tim...
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Version 1
21 Reviews
20 Comments
I danced with a small girl. She was pretty, small blonde Shirley temple curls, big grey eyes, and sun-kissed skin. I knew her name but I didn’t know how she told me. We clasped hands and spun in circles. The world kept going faster and faster about us and all that could be heard was the small innocence of our laughing. We fell down in a fit of giggles, too dizzy to stand. “Sophie, we will be friends forever.” I declared in the childlike innocence every adult remembers. When she didn’t reply ...
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" Great, know I have a mouth hair also" --I think you mean to put now and not Know. I would suggest since you are doing this in first person point of view that some of the words be used as past tense form. Like clutch and clutched. It will help your story flow better. Also some of your phases become repetitive, such as "Well guess what..." Instead of telling your story you seem to be talking to the reader. I'm not a huge fan of this format and I think it makes the story a little sloppy becaus...
I like this. I think this was well put together but kind of seems like it just dies off towards the end and then finishes. I would suggest maybe adding a stanza or two in the middle to explain how Andy knew God's tears and God's wrath. Also you might want to put why he is happy in oblivion. I hope this helped you.
I think this is a good start but I would flesh it out a bit more. Maybe add the end of a rehearsal and everyone saying goodbye to Alex or maybe Alex walking by some actors whispering about how the playhouse is haunted. Also I would introduce where the playhouse is and the name, etc. This will help with your setting a whole lot more. I won't comment on the grammatical errors as requested =) Great start though =)
"Her and George’s first date, when she was sixteen and she was seventeen" --Did you mean to say She was sixteen and He was seventeen? If not then this line is confusing. I think this is a good start. I didn't see many errors other than the one I've already pointed out. I like this idea you have going for this but this chapter is a little jumbled. All the character introductions, I think, is what made it jumbled. We go from Joan getting accepted, to the end of Joan's semester, to her Sister (w...
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