Please login to continue.
writindyke's profile
AGE:
30
LAST LOGIN: April 24
LAST LOGIN: April 24
My name is Amber Kennedy. I love this site. I really enjoy reading fresh work right out of the writers mind. I am very interested in the writing process and what individual people do to create new ideas and the techniques they use to make those ideas seem fresh. The art of arranging words is extremely confusing.
I am a junior in college; majoring in English and minoring in Secondary Education. If you would like to contact me feel free: amberk50@msn.com.
Items
Version 1
11 Reviews
2 Comments
I awake early while the bricks and shingles are still and resting; at least three hours before I must shower and be on my way. Through sleepy walls I can hear the ruffles of birds and squirrels digging in their feeders and angry Blue Jays banging their beaks on weary, gray fences. I brew the coffee and partially lift the paper blind to greet the sun and get a glimpse of the glittering field before Charlie wakes and licks up the fresh dew. Charlie sleeps like a tiny, old military man; snoring ...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
Your strong points are description: "Small rivers poured off the eaves of buildings, creating small ponds in which the frogs frolicked." That is a great sentence. And you kept the action going which is hard for a lot of people. Just a minor point, but one that bugs me. Don't use a lot of tags for dialogue. Example: "she gasped" or "he said triumphantly". It becomes very annoying. I know you are trying to be creative, but he said, she said, keeps the dialogue moving at a realistic pace. When y...
Deleted Item
Thank you for putting those thoughts down. I am often the one who is left out of the conversation. Mostly because (like you) I don't feel the need to partake in superficial communication. I often feel as though I am a minority and I will never find people like me who want to communicate on a different level. Well, maybe it is because we are all at our computers writing. You have great observation of life and that is a gift from your non-superficial side.
This reminds me of Sandra Cisneros' piece "Hairs." I am wondering if you ever read that piece and purposefully created this piece to resemble it. I like parts of it but the flow is a little off. It sounds kind of choppy. I would read it aloud and revise.
Your description of nature is impeccable. Reminds me of poet W.C. Bryant but better -- without misguided philosophy. One of my favorite lines is: "In the dull calm of morning twilight, the crispness of October seeps through the seams of my jacket." The description of "dull calm" and then "crispness" seem at first glance to counteract themselves, but on a second read it proves to be pure genius.
I agree . . . using cliches and overused metaphors is a no-no in writing, especially poetry. You CLEARLY have a bad habit of this. Read your work and if the phrases sound familiar that is because they have already been written. You are not a good writier, I'm sorry.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People