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AGE: 30
LOC: San Antonio, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15

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Poetry / youth
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I see you in our black chambers Your robe in the wind like wild violets The bitter ash dusts the pale youthful bones of our departed And the silent tears will bind us Crippled by a poet’s desire Hounded by the diamonds in your blood The walls can see through the walls opposite And the mirror holds no reflection of our souls Hound’s-tooth patterns in the ceiling-clouds Whispers of commerce linger on the hollow summer leaves Barbed words of kindness from the matron And the veiled presence of sp...
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Short Story / Coach Steve
Version 1
6 Reviews   0 Comments
Coach Steve is a very angry man. He hates the state that he chose to live in of his own free will. The people here are too macho for his delicate Minnesotan personality, and yet he tries to maintain an aura of oppressed-white man toughness. It’s his shtick. I first encountered Coach Steve quite by surprise. I wrote what I thought was an innocuous op/ed piece for the city newspaper about a long-shot political candidate, and by Sunday afternoon he’d looked me up in the phonebook and left me thr...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Presidential Candidates
Version 2
9 Reviews   0 Comments
1.21.2007 With the brutal fact that 2008 is now inevitable, being only one digit away on the calendar, the Candidates are suddenly scrambling to make their solemn presences known to the collective TV Consumers of America. Something like 15 of them have launched “Exploratory Committees,” and a couple have even said they’d run for President. They’ve already begun to inspire mockery in the talking heads, and a sedated indifference in most of the public. Some of the notables in the most grotesque...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Presidential Candidates
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
1.21.2007 With the brutal fact that 2008 is now inevitable, being only one digit away on the calendar, the Candidates re suddenly scrambling to make their solemn presences known to the collective TV Consumers of America. Something like 15 of them have launched “Exploratory Committees,” and a couple have even said they’d run for President. They’ve already begun to inspire mockery in the talking heads, and a sedated indifference in most of the public. Some of the notables in the most grotesque ...
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Reviews
Thought the imagery was really vivid. The dark forces are easy to visualize upon reading this. I did think this one line seemed a little out of place: "And vomit out a pukey stream" The rest of the language seems almost Gothic and ancient, and this sort of modern slang seemed to stand out. Other than that though, it seems pretty powerful.
Poetry / The Journey
This was really excellent. I think the nighttime forest imagery was outstanding. Great job with the water, the leaves, the sounds...just really good. I'm not really familiar with the Wiccan story of creation but your poem stands on its own just fine. Keep writing.
Poetry / Cause I'm a Jew
Definitely captures the anger and frustration that someone in that position must have been feeling. Some of the sentences are a little awkward though, especially this one: "They do this draft-like system in which they “draft” you by a lottory and many do this physical exam like system in which you have to pass in order to stay alive." It's a little confusing and I kind of know what you mean but its not really clear. Other than that though, good feeling.
This is really biting and good. Great idea to use the PSAs as poetry.
This is good. It's simple and real but subtle in the transitions. I especially like these two lines: "leave your second life come back to the living room"
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