wiseasscomment's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 30
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 30
what can i plagiarize today?
Items
Version 2
10 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter One The day that Parson left his life behind him was not particularly remarkable to his memory. The majority of it had passed much like it always had—riddled with routine and tiring circumstance. It was a rare occurrence that he'd recall any times he'd spent as memorable. Of course, it could be argued that each and every period of night and day is just as unique as the one that preceded it as well as that which will follow, if only for their position on a Calendar. Even so, there was ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
Chapter One The day that Parson left his life behind him was not particularly remarkable to his memory. The majority of it had passed much like it always had—riddled with routine and tiring circumstance. It was a rare occurrence that he'd recall any times he'd spent as memorable. Of course, it could be argued that each and every period of night and day is just as unique as the one that preceded it as well as that which will follow, if only for their position on a Calendar. Even so, there was ...
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Reviews
I honestly can't tell if i enjoyed this piece. Every single stanza sees the exact same, but worded only a little bit differently. It's easy to tell that you felt "free" by this fling, or that you truly enjoyed the time you spent. But the fact that you sell it short after the fact, yet claim it was so meaningful DURING the fact, it sort of leaves me confused. No, on second thought, it makes me think the author is a confused teenager. I'm not confused about anything, it's evident you are. The w...
Wow, you have a great command of the language. I immediately connect with the sense of resentment the character holds towards the father. It's a very effective way to describe the follies of youth, growing up, the relationship with mother and the non-relationship with father. The third paragraph gets a bit confusing to me. There is a bit of exposition going on here, but it seems to get muddled in with other aspects, like the narrator's blossoming power. It bounces around between vivid, descri...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging
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How It Came to Be that I Watched an Episode of Some Lame Reality TV Show
Removed
Simple. Descriptive. Effective. It feels like something someone would write while sitting on a grassy knoll between classes. Very enjoyable, despite being so friggin' short. Kudos.
Wow, very descriptive and invoking. You do a great job of portraying the suspense and fear. That said, let's get to critiquing. In the beginning, there are a few silly sentences and there are a few clumsy sentences. "...knowing very well that if they did not they would have been sorry." is pretty bad. The "you'll be sorry" bit is a boring device that rarely works in dialogue, much less in the story itself. "Stone couldn’t help but feel the emotion of fear enter his heart and mind." You don't ...
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