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whsahhar's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Egypt
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 04
LOC: Egypt
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 04
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[Walking at 6 AM across the town’s market] Her: Why did you do that? Me: During the night we’re all entranced Her: Was it a torrent of emotions? Me: …and in the morning, we retreat to our cages
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2 Comments
If only those refractions of light can mount to any audible expression, they would plead innocence of all the misery they’ve caused. They would refuse to confess they had anything to do with our obsession with the blondes, or our lust for the darker, mystic specimens. They wouldn’t apologize for the nightly insomnia, or the daily restlessness. They would not apologize for the bull slaughtered because of their luring, or the millions slaughtered for the same flag. They would not apologize for ...
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Now really really really excuse me for this...but this was an appalling waste of time...not because I think the subject matter is trivial-I do-but also because your sentence and overall piece construction is incoherent. I'd take 20 from the 26 years old you claim
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I think there are some spelling problems with this piece...I couldn't follow it entirely... Although, from what I was able to collect...I really liked the playing on the word "server" and the inclusion of what most of us started considering as an everyday phenomena "Cannot find server" into an unfamiliar setting.. I also didn't get if that was a date or just a dinner with friend, or if that was intended to be confusing. All in all, I think it's pretty original, and a bit playful..but it needs...
Superb...I really like this one....although at times i felt that it is being too direct, you manage to play with the reader's expectations, which adds to the lightness, and humor of the piece. These two attributes specifically, makes the piece all too real and profound. What I mean is: the part about dissecting how the silver thermos got into the protagonist's mind, for example, is really great. It is at once a study of how consumerism and advertising works by tickling the consumer's sense of...
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