You've got a decent concept for a poem; but the abstract language yearns for expression through fresh, vivid images...

Nice. The masters of one trade will soon, thanks to the approaching singularity, become obsolete.

Hi, I just have to say that, although there is a creepy tone to this that I like, it is quite unclear to me what this is about. The closest I can guess is some sort of very dark tale of pregnancy. Not that I'm always the first kids on the block to pick up someones inferences, but the pronouns alone were enough to really throw me. Given the underlying tone to the piece, and mysterious relationship being portrayed, I'd have to venture that the magnitude of what is being described requires a far...

Hi; This is nice: clean and simple. A soft moment, captured.I've no suggestions for a title, but for some reason the song "Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." pops into my head. You might have better luck with a title if the were more to the moment -- a sense of context other than simply the itchy red beard.... - Michael

A nice piece; I'd enjoy it to be fleshed out more, between the more descriptive bookends. It just starts getting interesting with the much more vividly imaginable business of running about in the woods. Looks like you could really dive into that area, so rich with the metaphors of childhood tales. You could possible take on the tradition, then, the poem becoming itself a form of fairy tale, like the old school ones; with dark and sinister endings. I'd love to see it expanded!

Nice short poem, Eve; I like the wittiness, and the authenticity of it. I'd suggest you find a less literal title, though; something more visual. Even for such a seemingly simple subject, there is profundity available, even if of a relatively small magnitude, which you manage to access. Well done. - Michael

I really like the idea behind this story, and it begs to be expanded upon. With this piece, there are a couple things that work, and a couple that don't. What works for me is the short dialog bits, and your description of the crown in the town. What's missing for me in the fist place is a sense of who he is speaking to. In the town, we hear about his poetry, but the story never goes on. I like the idea that he is speaking poetry to the crowd, and would like to see more. The ending disappearan...

Hello. A few things stood in the way of my enjoyment of this poem. First my eye became distracted by the persistent parade of periods, which to me prevented the poem from gaining any momentum. Second was the quad-repeated use of 'I am no friend to love. I owe her nothing." It became the drum of the piece, signifying only one tone. I would have liked to see some variation; perhaps even a simple witty inversion. Third and last, and led to by two prior observations, was the realization of my dre...

I'm not a big fan of physical poetry, but aside from that I liked the subject of your poem, and the rhyming. Several of your images are familiar, so I'd caution you to try to see them in a new way. It's not that you don't have good moments that exemplify this aspect. I liked the sense of movement in the "second stanza," for instance. I think maybe more active verbs might help. Instead, for example, of "bringing all higher mind processes back to the same of flat thoughts," I'd look for a more ...