I like the idea your getting across. Old and young interplay, it works. What i wanted, especially with the subject being music, was some more depth to the work. I wanted to hear the harmonica, or maybe the colors that the girl wears, or some other sense coming through entirely non-sound. Also, does the girl have to be described as young. Could you get the point across in some other descriptive way, without bulking up the text too much?

is there no good from myspace? is the mailman the savior here? I get what you are trying to get across here, its just a bit sledgehammer-ish. The third stanza broke form (in going from negatives to positives), but it didn't surprise me all that much.