cindykelly's profile

cindykelly avatar
AGE: 32
LOC: Amsterdam, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 06

How to Critique Poetry:  http://www.patchword.com/original/articles/critique.html

About Cindy
Cindy Kelly lives in Amsterdam, Ohio with her himalayan cat, Ursala Miner.  She studies English and Writing at Kent State University.  In 2007, her short fiction and poetry has been published in Shine! Flash Fiction Literary Journal, Brink Magazine, The Blinks, Diddle Dog, and in Ad Hoc Foxtrot Quarterly.  She is the editor of Plain Spoke, the Appalachia-Americana Literary publication of Amsterdam Press.  

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Poetry / Pilgrimage
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
She used to spend all summer in Carrollton with her aunt Mary Davis, when she was six and seven and younger, twenty some years after Uncle Chibby passed away. They walked whenever they wanted to go someplace because Aunt Mary couldn't drive, never bothered to get a license. They walked to the five and ten, walked down to Isaly's for chipped-chopped ham sandwiches, walked up to the Super Duper and stopped at Betty Kaye Bakery on the way back home. In the afternoon, when it was hot out, Aunt Ma...
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Reviews
Humor/Satire / Observations
by Lofty
I feel like this belongs in a short book or collection of such quips. It's stated so dryly, but with a very clean voice. The words "go for" may not fit in with the sentiment as presented so well, but hooray anyway. More, please!
Poetry / Emo Me.
by MrShyRockstar
I think that this is fairly successful in two of your goals - it seems that since being emo is synonymous with being trendy, you with both be understood and admired, and even possibly inspire others to write similar works. But what are we accomplishing here? By writing something that's a) predictable; b)full of cliche (even if it's emo/gothic/my-soul-is-a-dark-pit-of-darkness cliche); and c)overwritten - what do we achieve? That's the question you need to ask yourself. I have read a million o...
Poetry / Against Time
by MrShyRockstar
You should really work on your enjambments, line breaks, and aesthetic values here. There are some really superficial things here that make your poem seem out of sync (that really crazy-awkward long long line there 2/3 of the way down the page, for instance). There are also archaic language problems that cut way down on accessibility for no reason whatsoever. (Who says "thee"anymore?) Clean up instances of redundancy - "I don't know" and "not since" are two examples from the first 5 lines. Th...
Short Story / Life of Life
by EagleEye80
Locked
Poetry / We Are Never So Loved
by fiddybinkin
The meter in this piece starts out fine, but the rhythm starts getting wonky by the end of stanza 1. The last two lines, specifically, throw it all out of meter. There is also the problem of rhyme - the rhyme (except for "wreaths-grief") is very elementary. Love=Above and Near=Ear are so obvious that I don't know why you chose to do it. Much of the piece feels arbitrary, as if you've only chosen to say the things you're saying because the rhyming forced you. I like the sentiment, but the exec...
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