The trick of a limmerick is that it's gotta, gotta, gotta hit the syllabic and rhyming requirement dead on. It's not a complex form, but it is a demanding one. "Intentions" and "elections" don't quite rhyme (they are half ryhmes), but they really, really don't rhyme with expectations. And the metrics of the first 2 lines are off, too, but easily fixed. "Despite Democratic intentions, Bush campaigned and won the elections." Or sumfin. The final line would be a great punch line for a limmerick....

First, I agree with the earlier reviewer, who said to break this into paragraphs. Second, your claim isn't valid because you make a massive leap of illogic; that because a non-white hasn't been elected President, therefore the system itself is "racist." This *could* be the case, but you have no real data to back it up, simply conjecture and your own opinion at this point. The definition of racism is the judgement of another to be inferior by racial qualification. The definition of democracy i...

This is quite good. Nice, prolonged metaphor. I'm not sure I would have gotten it without the hint... if you'd added one or two more lines about how you guarded some of them; what is the role of insect in this metaphor, that might have helped. That confuses me a bit, too... normally birds eat insects. But if that's the point, that they live off you... interesting. Things I liked: all the specific bird imagery. The clear pain of the narrator. The lack of emotion from the bird-mothers. "...exam...

Neat piece. Moon milk and cookies by wire. I don't think you need, "They're pretty easy to bake." or "Would you take my lead" or "I can share." I think those lines slow down what is a prety quick, dancy poem. And I really like the movement from cookie to dance to share... except the cookie and dancing and ocean and can are real, good images... and then the sharing part is pedantic. Skip the "telling me about sharing." Share the cookie, dancing, moon, etc. That's great. Then you don't need to ...

Poems about other people writing bad poems are generally... well... trouble. You basically run the risk of other people kinda leaning back on the fence and saying, either, "I disagree," or... "Well, ayuh... but yer in the midden, too, mister." So, while I may agree with some of the points, it's kinda like having a friend with an ugly mother. You earn nothing by pointing the fact out. The 2nd stanza is good, though. It's not necessarily about "the poetry." It's about words in general, and that...

Much of this is deeply lovely writing. Your prose is very much "prose poetry." I'm not sure, though, why you've chosen the different line-break styles from section to section. I went back and read it without the shorter lines (in my head), and it didn't really flow/feel different. There wasn't any meter or scan to the shorter sections or any obvious reason, beyond the visual, for it to have shorter lines. So... not sure of the "why" for that decision. I think this could be really powerful. I ...

As self-indulgent whining goes, it's fine. I'm not sure, other than self-indulgent whining, what the point of the exercise is. Some of the bits are about people screwing you; some are about general rudeness; some about tech being a pain; some about the universe winding down. Things suck. So... "Bite Me"? OK.

OK... You left "silky" in. ;-) That's fine. This is a lovely piece. I do enjoy, "Is there a reward for not doing so." That's kind of a logical enjambment, which I like. The idea that you're questioning a stalemate; a silence or recalcitrance. Nice. Here's some quibbles. Since that's what I do. You've got some extra commas in here that I think are distracting. Other than the one after the words, "all" and "lover," I think they can all go away and make things smoother. I also think in the list ...

This is totally cool. Sorry about the pun. Really enjoyed the mythic quality. The pentameter is really close to perfect; a couple spots are a bit jerky. "For man was not meant to survive in pride" could be smoother. And... "And in despite of every season's turn," scans well, but is grammatically and sensibly a little odd. But these are quibbles. This is a really tight, really solid drum-beat of a sonnet. I agree with the sentiment, too. - A www.TinkerX.com

I just don't understand why this is a poem. There's not enough here to make me care about the pony. I don't know why someone stole her. I don't know why they'd steal her rather than buy her. I don't know who is noticing that the glue farm is stocked. Also... an ode is generally a pretty long-ass poem. This is pretty short. And the first line scans a bit like it wants to start a limerick... "There once was a pony named Frances," but doesn't quite catch the meter right. As a limerick, it might ...