This story is well-written and interesting. There are some humorous parts ("Well don't act so freaked out about it..."), but I would have liked to see more. I think you can add them without straying from the gravity of the piece. There are a few grammatical errors (e.g. "anyways" should be "anyway" and "a few years younger than him" should be "than he"), but I think you can catch most of these in careful revision. The overall idea here is good, but dialogue seems a little forced and artificia...

Great ideas and a very strong conclusion. My only criticism is with the form. It's basically a poem, which is fine, but because of the story it tells, I feel like it needs either more or less consistency in rhythm. Right now, it feels like it's trying to be rhythmic but failing every so often when the meter becomes difficult to construct. You could avoid that by addressing those catches in rhythm, or you could take out the elements that suggest it should have a specific rhythm. By adding sosm...

You have some nice imagery here, but despite its 14 lines, I would hesitate to call this a sonnet. The rhythm is neither iambic nor pentameter, and after the first stanza, it doesn't follow the traditional sonnet rhyming scheme. By another name, this is a nice poem, especially the second stanza, but calling it a sonnet is to equivocate.

Nice story. It is well-written and enjoyable to read. I had some difficulty understanding the relationship between Rotto and Ann, which I think is a central issue in this story. Perhaps the conversation with Sally could reveal a little more about Rotto and Ann. The beginning seemed to move pretty slowly, but once Sally called, the pace of the story picked up nicely. Do we ever find out what is the significance of the initial dream? When you start a story with a dream scene, you have to be ext...

I usually don't enjoy reading something that doesn't make use of capitalization convention, but your note of explanation was a good justification. This reads very well, and the concept is really great. I'd really like to see this developed into something more. It seems like a really great beginning, perhaps you could write an entire "Bible" to follow it.

This is a solid poem. At times, it's a little awkward, specifically: "I think I just got separated from him" disrupts the flow of the words. "Just" is not a very poetic word (it sounds harsh). "And the irony comes into play here when in return I would give anything." Don't say anything about the irony, and let your reader infer it. Also, decide between "affliction" and "demons," as right now it seems to use them interchangeably. One minor detail - you sometimes use contractions and sometimes ...

You offer the disclaimer that you spent an hour on this poem, and to me, it shows. The meter and rhyme is singsong but inconsistent. What was your goal for this poem? It doesn't seem to strive for an novel imagery or ideas. The narrator is uninvolved, and it doesn't really evoke empathy from the reader.

A sweet poem with some nice metaphors. I like the structure you've taken with it, and the lack of capitalization actually enhances the sense of a whisper. I'd suggest removing the three commas, too. You won't obscure the meaning, and I think it would also contribute to the sense of a whisper. I don't particularly like your use of "soft" twice. Once would be fine, three times seems deliberate, but twice seems like just a lack of a better word. Overall, a nice poem, but nothing about it strikes...

"Then times spent with grandmother" -> Than "of Czechoslovakian decent" -> descent "Lunchtime were special" -> Lunchtimes "with his hudge appetite" -> huge "Till it was too dark" -> 'Til Overall, I think this is a good poem with some good ideas behind it. You have some strange sentence construction that doesn't contribute to rhyme or meter, so I'm a bit confused why you chose to write that way. At times, it sounds like you're going for a sort of antiquated feel, but other times...

I really liked this poem. The slant rhymes and gentle meter keep it poetic without bashing you over the head. My only qualm is the second line, "A name on a paper without any face." By etymology, an anonymous man lacks a name, so the fact that he has a name on a paper (even though you go on to offer another paradox) stuck out to me. Maybe it's just its placement immediately after the word "anonymous." Small detail though. The imagery and idea are good. Quality piece here.