titanicbrittanic's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Amherst, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 12
LOC: Amherst, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 12
Writing is the most therapeutic thing to me; I am told I am not all that bad at stringing a few words together either, so it is all the better that what I produce from stress may entertain someone else. If you are not entertaining while writing, why bother putting the thoughts on paper?
I am the average homosexual teenager; I am looking for love and not ashamed to say it openly. I thought I found it, but I was proved wrong. I have stressed for close to a year over this and in the past two months, I have started to write a semi-fictional story based on what has hurt me the most. I have other plot outlines that I want to write about at the moment, but this one came to me first. My other plots are all very different from this one; I don’...
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Through every doorway there is trouble and misfortune. Every family has its dark secrets and its forgotten relics hidden in the closet. These relics may not be simple objects, but people with no voice or power. Grandpa may be sitting in the home wasting away and Aunt Agnes may be watching at the window of an institution wishing to walk only once through the garden. The shadows hide these people. Not the shadows cast by the furniture or even our own physical shadow cast by our bodies, but by t...
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Through every doorway is trouble and misfortune. Every family has its dark secrets and its forgotten relics hidden in the closet. These relics may not be simple objects, but people with no voice or power. Grandpa may be sitting in the home smoldering away and Aunt Agnes may be sitting at the window of an institution wishing to walk only once through the garden. The shadows hide these people. Not the shadows cast by the furniture or even our own physical shadow cast by our bodies, but by the s...
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Attn. *Name*: Catering to Vengeance, a 76,000 word GLBT novel, focuses on the events that sprout from a chance meeting of three gay men. All three were once involved in a love triangle which ended in lying, disappearance, and abandonment. With unresolved emotions and utter misunderstanding on all sides, the characters begin delving into their personalities and emotions in an attempt to find themselves in these complicated circumstances. Through memories of rape, child...
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Not much stood in Iris’s way to the top. The mirror on the landing was reassured her of her natural prowess. Countless hours in front of other mirrors had given her time to cultivate the looks to rise into the highest of society. Whether it was the raising of an eyebrow or the hint at a smile, this woman of twenty knew exactly which facial expressions were appropriate for any occasion. From her early teens onward Iris had been taught the value of beauty. Cotillions, dances and high soci...
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Catering to Vengeance Dedicated to the Memory of a Love Lost "Don't ever 'shut up' for me. If you want to talk, I want to lissen. If you want to yell, scream, rant, rave or cry, I want you to do that too." – Michelangelo DiAngelo Ironic words originally typed: May 17, 2007 Discovery of a new meaning: May 20, 2008 Though names have been changed, events in this book are based on real experiences and on real individuals. However, this is also a work of fiction and has ro...
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I began to edit this story from the first page and just couldn't bring myself to do too much of it. My advice is to go along and see what sentences you can combine. Simple sentence structures are a sticatto of a piece; they create choppy waters if used too often and lose the reader's interest. This is exactly what you do not want to do. I also notice that you mention things in a very mundane way. The distance between you and the relatives must have meant something if you noticed it. I know tr...
I like the idea of this piece: it's an uncomfortable meal like one most people have had, spent eating with someone you should like but don't. Perhaps you should build on the symbolism of the cow. You bring it back in in the end to describe the way they are walking and I can only assume the cow represents marriage with its many meanderings and the problems it causes. Maybe tie it in to the sandwich Samantha is eating - have Sam notice it is a beef sandwhich and have him think, "damn, that cow ...
I have to say that this was the utmost odd story I have ever read on Urbis and the phrase "it's not half bad" doesn't begin to cover it. I'm thinking that the President Bush comment was over the top (and I'm not saying that bc I like him; quite the contrary). Maybe something relating to The Simpsons to infer what American humor is viewed at. I was able to take this piece very seriously as it was well proofread and that made it all the funnier. Seems like you have a knack for the odd ;)
The overall story is interesting and you do a good job with getting the details across without them becoming tedious. I'm not sure if the orgasm part is necessary... you make the point, but it's a tad bit much to write about, espescially since it has nothing to do with the actual bull run or his climb to office. I would rethink that part; it might be the difference between publishing and not publishing. You have several run-on sentences that are just distracting, not dramatic. Here are the fe...
This is an amazing piece and I certainly hope it is published! I think you created a very strong and convincing character and I can tell you edited this very thoroughly. I only found the following mistakes: "was same temperature" <-- was the same "The trees it was tied to shook and moaned and the sheet whipped around Mama" <-- clarify what "it" is. I figured out it was the line, but it took me a few readings and this ruins the great flow you had going up to this point. "Were we were the...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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