tia_logic's profile

tia_logic avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 18

Clouds Gathering

It seemed the kind of life we wanted.
Wild strawberries and cream in the morning.
Sunlight in every room.
The two of us walking by the sea naked.

Some evenings, however, we found ourselves
Unsure of what comes next.
Like tragic actors in a theater on fire,
With birds circling over our heads,
The dark pines strangely still,
Each rock we stepped on bloodied by the sunset.

We were back on our terrace sipping wine.
Why always this hint of an unhappy ending?
Clouds of almost human appearance
Gathering on the horizon, but the rest lovely
With the air so mild and the sea untroubled.

The night suddenly upon us, a starless night.
You lighting a candle, carrying it naked
Into our bedroom and blo…

(more)

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Novel Treatments / turtle. beads.
Version 1
15 Reviews   26 Comments
  She collects Mardi Gras beads. Everyone brings them to her, shopping bags full of colored globs. They come in tangles; they come in blues and silvers and reds; they come with tiny lobster medallions and King-cake babies. They come by the truckload. She wakes up early in the morning and dumps the bags onto the floor. In a nest of necklaces, she sorts them; some days by color, some days by shape, some days by a category only she knows. When leaving the house, she packs a bag of her fav...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / turtleish. helen's garden.
Version 1
7 Reviews   40 Comments
The ten of us-- sisters, daughters, grandchildren– talked of her, in Helen's Garden surrounded by roses. We told stories of afternoon snacks, baseball games. The year, just graduated, she and friends took a tour of the Grand Canyon by donkey; I imagine her, pin curls and smiling. Her hatred of grapefruit, and her face each Christmas when two dozen grapefruit were delivered; the weeks she watched them slowly rot. I didn't want to share our stories, our long afternoon dialogues when ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
12 Reviews   7 Comments
Chelly continued her contortion, folding each of her three orange legs over her head while her fingers formed interlocking tunnels of varying diameter. She never broke eye contact. “Now,” she crooned, “show me your people’s love rituals.” Alec smiled wildly. He gazed toward his pants, where his little soldier was already prepared to conquer this alien race. “Right here, baby,” he said, gesticulating at his crotch. Chelly unwound herself and placed two...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Young Adult / Daddy Thinks I'm Hot
Locked
Novel Treatments / The Lambent Light: Chapter 12
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get to this. The transition between PC and Jilliane's father is a little awkward for me. The logo image doesn't make it clear for me whether it's a small PIP thing or it changed to the special report as Brandon walked up. Flickered to, maybe? Maybe it's not that important. Dialogue between reporter and officer is great. "up here on the top shelf.” The top shelf..." Does Rod(b) need to _say_ it? I like that Rod channels Cheryl a bit when talking to Diane-- ...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Novel Treatments / HEADLESS CHICKEN(CH.13/PT.2)
I have a hard time with the schematics of dried blood flaking under the spray of hot water. Blood gets all gummy when it's re-hydrated. I dunno. Didn't work for me. "splinters...bones" niiice You say "working" in reference to masturbating _a lot_ in this piece. I'd think about that as a whole. Paco calls him sir-- jefe? Sir almost sounds comical; patronizing. "Joo want me to cum.." Paco refers to himself in third person except for this line. Joo want Paco to cum? Go team glob. Whoa. Carla wen...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Novel Treatments / HEADLESS CHICKEN(CH.13/PT.1)
This doesn't feel the same. James' mom got knocked up with a three month old baby? I mean, it happens, but jeez. Great image, though, of big sis laughing. Hambone. I don't think you need the commas in the first sentence. Lots of repetition of grandpa/Grandpa James, which I get is necessary. Almost rhythmic switching back and forth, though. One, then the other. I don't have a better idea. Last sentence seems to be an afterthought, and unnecessary. Dunno about the first line of the second parag...
100.0% Review Quality (4 Votes)
Quotes / Self is a Snake
snake **;** armored I think. And an interesting thought, P.