thewriterinwhite's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 18
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 18
Sigh
I really havent gotten time to write lately but I think im going to start up doing it more often (That is) taking time away from my band and sports to do so. . .Inspiration is usually fleeting for me, and so scince lately i’ve traveled around alot, this inspiration is something I think I can now express more easily than before.
((Besides, being the one who tries to write isn’t being a inspirational writer, Inspiration is found within the writer through an awakeing moment))
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White, It consumes that of what I have left. Sanity, Perception of the world, Memories.(. . .) Blinding orbs suspened overhead Light the over-keenly room, Cell Block 119 the words trek across the door as my pupils adjust to the intensity. Where I am? It’s of no importance, No worry…(There's nothing to worry about) A prison? No, Rather, to me... Nothing that wasn't my fault.(But it wasn't, NO) Ofcourse I knew, It was you and what I did... For you, again...
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Version 3
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Notes for readers: Enjoy! ;D tell me what you think please. By the way, a "#####" is a break in a scene or time frame. The story overall is the breakdown and rebuilding of a young man's life, perseverance, and pride through fire and ice...with a little help for sure from the person he'd least expect, but I cant let you know too much ;) =^-^= Slowly. Ever so slow the sound seemed to hang stagnant in the cooling morning air. Musk filled the small apartments unsightly living room, and through th...
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Version 1
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White, It consumes that of what I have left. Sanity, Perception of the world, Memories of you. Blinding orbs suspened overhead light the over-keenly room, ~Cell Block 119~ the words trek across the door as my pupils adjust to the intensity. As of where I am? It's of no importance, No worry... A prison? no, rather, to me, A representation of government. White lies, Restraints and Reform
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Version 1
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In twilight, He yipped... And I ignored it, Rustled my tent, But I slept... Slept warm and cozy. In the morning, left paw-prints... where others once were. And I knew then He only warned... I had been left behind.
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Version 2
2 Reviews
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The story takes place in the Andromeda galaxy on a subtle, yet just as complex as ours', planet. The planet has two suns, and constant daylight. The two suns set once every century over the northern horizon in the sky. Our two characters are...well you'll have to find out;) (Heres a sneak peek) =================== Yes, the thought had ran through my mind several times in the past, but this wasn't my choice. I couldn't change it now if i tried, well, because...I wanted this, and this was how i...
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good haiku, although I would call it more of a poem lol, but from the second stanza to the third your poem/or haiku it seems to jump from scenery, to a spider too abruptly. I belive if the transition here is smoothed out it may work towards the overall value of the haiku/poem where as it now ((in my opinion)) completely distracts you from it and breaks the flow... And... again, reconcider the haiku/poem debate i mentioned ;D
You know? I began reading your story like all other random items...but when I finished, it left a mysterious sense of unanswered questions, yet a mark of understanding. Thats really what most people look for in a story, you took my attention from the begining and held it to the end ^^ Good writing! Usually there are two types of short stories: Ones with a quick but entertaining plot, and those without much a plot though having great description and...well, a feeling touch. You kind of combine...
creates great mental pictures, good personification. 8/10 although, yeah your right...it could be confusing if someone didnt know what you were talking about.
good idea, I really liked your last stanza^^ Though you could really try to articulate your wordings...Like maybe varify who the poem is to.
YaY! I liked the way you constructed your first stanza of the poem. Great job, but I guess you could work on adding punctuation...you dont really have to I guess but it would make the peom maybe more easily understood by others^^
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