You captured the flow of the afternoon or whatever time of the day it was with your breakdown of lines and numbered stanzas. It made it seem almost abstract, like as if it was the dictation from a mind going through flashbacks. I get a nice and tripp/hazy feeling from it- the same way time is distorted when you're amongst friends or old souls. I could almost see you telling this in a bar somewhere after being hit with a nostalgic vision.

This really reminds me of the rush one recieves when he or she travels to a new place. You captured that well with your use of short lines and repeating phrases. It feels like I am in a car trying to relay the images i capture flying past me in the window.

There's not much that needs to be said about this piece. Your alliteration hits hard, your particular practice of vocabulary mirrors the intensity of your feelings in the poem, the desperation in this poem is accompanied by an underlying rage. Deep [this sh*t is the bomb].

I laughed when my eyes fell upon the first line, I knew right away you had a plan and idea, and I was less right than I thought- your poem exceeded my expectations by far. I like very much how you began with a simpler dialogue and use of words and slowly cranked up the literary fire as the poem went on, "In watery sepia... Baroque stroke lines and curls." That's deep, it makes my mouth water. You spun the story very well- that last word really got me, the imagery was so well put that I can se...

Damn, you imprisoned a rose in an icey prison. I see you looking at a love that you cannot touch. Your language is earth shattering, "The darkness that lies at your lips calls to me," it's great how you are able to see and express the hidden things in the mundane.

I like the humor and wit displayed in a work that covers such a serious topic, "You're no prize!". I aligned to the rhythm of the poem by the end of the 2nd stanza, and then its feeling became relative to me. This poem has been a shot of reality- "you're no damn good as a man", it reminds of the responsibility behind a relationship and the expectactions associated with being a man.