tessieinc's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 12
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 12
i love writing prose, it’s my main form of expression, but i have dabbled in poetry …
my challenge is to write a script.. i’ve gotten a short way but it is very difficult…
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
6 Comments
The hot wind ripped skin off his face and the desert sunlight bored right through his sunglasses, humping the back of his head like an Afghani hooker. Phil surveyed the countryside with dissatisfaction. Arid, empty, golden desert reaching off on the left, a whole bunch of camel fuckland on the right. He sighed, considering whether to make the signal to ‘hurry it up’ to the stressed out truck driver behind them. Last time he did that the bugger looked as though he might ram their little Mitsub...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews
9 Comments
“Well, I think, it’s all a question of Faith,” I could hear the capital letter in her voice. “Kyles, you can’t be serious. Jesus, right? You sound like a freaking cliché!” Us two, reclining on the hotel balcony, merry from the scotch and the beer, sharing a joint in the nude and watching the bums fight for booze in the streets of Brisbane below. I smelled like her sex, excited and confident. “No, Phil, just listen,” she was hesitant. “There were so many, so many nights when I didn’t know whet...
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Reviews
the donuts and the starving work well as a linking image. with haiku it's imperative to include as much meaning as possible into such a small area, and i think you have done this well. simple, technically correct and nice subject matter. this poem is evocative without going over the top. it would be interesting to see what image this conjures in the various readers. well done.
eeeeeng.. sorry mate, i found i couldn't really connect with this poem so much. i couldn't really understand what you were trying to say. is this about that movie, which i have never seen, about those two old people who fall in love? there is no turn of phrase or original technical skill that would make this poem stand out. you group the words in a way very familiar to us all, there is nothing new here. radiating as a supernova- this image seemed a little out of place, you set the scene to be...
i fucking love prose that rhymes. good for you. love your alliterative style. A righteous crew from Chicago blew in, bringing their swag of bags and tablets of sin. this is great. love the biblical references. it really works. especially since you were talking about aliens in the previous bit. christians sometimes seem like aliens to me too. in fact the more i think about it, the more it makes sense to me. ordering drinks for all folks near and far. I got one too! I love your delight here. ad...
so this would make a great song, your repetition is good for a chorus.... i can't say i really found too much else to like about this. it seems fairly basic technically and a little bit self-indulgent. but hell, i can see your expression in this and from a human perspective i say we can all relate. your rhythm fails in some parts- The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume I’m sure I’ll get used too But now I’m not seeing all that well, my left cheek feels puffy too also, cheap perfume and alcoho...
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