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teenitini's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Canyon Lake, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
LOC: Canyon Lake, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
Quiet, introspective, anti-social mother of 3. I love to read, love to learn, and love to love. I abhore liars and negative people. Always dreaming. Life is a yo-yo – it has to come back up eventually.
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Version 1
6 Reviews
1 Comment
Shadows falling A cool spring breeze Birds and butterflies Playing in trees Smells of clarity Flowing through my mind Sending me back To another place or time Or a land yet unseen By humankind Where all are best friends And none have worry A time of peace No one's in a hurry Where voices write songs Of love and acceptance When children and adults Are a helpful presence And the trials of life Just challenging lessons With hatred and stress As unheard of as pain Smiles and laughter Will everyda...
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Oh to have it always be that wonderful... Great 'flow'. Beautiful imagery.
I have to admit, the first time I read it I found no flow to it at all. So I kept reading it, until I did. I can definitely feel the sadness of the poem - I've felt this way too. It is a great piece. The only thing I didn't care for was the word 'only'. I think it should be left out of the line: "I claw at my rotting flesh, to only find nothing inside," It doesn't really fit there, and you also use it two lines further down. It fits better in the second spot. Excellent use of symbolism throug...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Shinning should be spelled shining. All in all a good Haiku - good imagery.
Why is it they always have to comment on how much or little we 'care'? Sounds just like my 15-year-old daughter.
Very descriptive. I can definitely tell you don't care for airplanes. I love it!
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