syk2340's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Jackson, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 17
LOC: Jackson, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 17
A description of myself would take about 3 days to complete, and thats if I did not sleep. So here is shorter version: I am nice all the time to everyone, though I have dark thoughts in the back of my head because as a human I judge. I write my poems much like I sing in the shower, with no beat. Just making it up as I go. Haven’t found my own beat just yet. I am trying to, though the road is tough as many know.
Items
Version 2
3 Reviews
4 Comments
We’re Human Too Walking down the street massaging her neck, Nicole let out a sigh thinking of her day; she had busted 7 perps, finished her –rising stack- of paperwork, took her car in for a tune up, and ran 5 miles in preparation of the fun raising marathon next month. Walking down the stairs and through the entrance of the How ‘Bout bar she thought of all the memories she could not wait to drown out with a few good drinks and maybe one night of peace. Walking in th...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
We’re Human Too Walking down the street massaging her neck, Nicole let out a sigh thinking of her day; she had busted 7 perps, finished her –rising stack- of paperwork, took her car in for a tune up, and ran 5 miles in preparation of the fun raising marathon next month. Walking down the stairs and through the entrance of the How ‘Bout bar she thought of all the memories could not wait to drown out with a dew good drinks and maybe once night of peace. Walking in the bar, she...
Version 1
3 Reviews
4 Comments
Milky streams of white light glisten across the sky as day says its final goodbye and night smirks with teeth gleeming. Some guys are picking on a cute redhead, dressed in tight leather from head to toe. As she stands up, ready to take care of them herself he appears. He steps between them, staring at the men with murdurous eyes, they take a step back. What is this bull, I'm no weakling, she says to herself as she steps around him. Reaching from her belt, she pulls out a badge and shoves it i...
Version 3
3 Reviews
2 Comments
Life as a Fly is Harsh A fly could just be Cruising for some food And people will swat at him A fly could just be Chilling in a comfy chair washing his face And people will swat at him A fly could just be Taking a nap on the wall And...SPAT!!! People have killed him A fly’s life is harsh, harsh indeed
Version 3
2 Reviews
1 Comment
I love you, but I have this feeling of protection for you, a feeling of wanting to see you smile.I am scared of you being hurt. I want you to be happy, I don’t want you to cry, I want to save you from yourself. Everythings going to be ok, I’m here, I’ll protect you. It doesn’t matter what they say, you know the truth, your better then their words of hatred and jealousy. Stop thinking your worthless, you do matter. You deserve a happy life, a good life. Your not worse o...
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Reviews
-He wants to break those rules accepted by generations of men and speak.- I do think there should be a "'" or ";" after men since you are going back to the beginning of the sentence not continuing the thought just uttered. -he never intended, should have been too smart to make- I understand why you wrote this as it is but you need to write so it can be read like a story not a thought. Something as simple as the word "nor" could be added to make it smooth along. I had to reread this part 6 tim...
This was soo funny. The only problem I had was when his internal organs started to have a conversation in his mind, I got lost and confused. Mostly because I do not know most of my own organs names by heart, so here I was reading along assuming these were people when actually they were organs. I would rethink how fast they chat back and forth or just reword the whole section. I person could get confused and agitated trying to continue their laughter but hitting a wall of confusion. I did not ...
well I would just say that the only error I found was in - I've been threatened physical abuse- shouldn't there be a "by" before the word physical. On a personal note, I am sorry for what you are going through.
75.0% Review Quality (4 Votes)
I would think of rewriting this, -“If you’re sure you’re okay?” She nodded.- it does not seem right to have a "?" there. -He soon heard water running and resisted a powerful temptation to offer to help.- The set of words at the end, to offer to, I think just one "to" would be enough, it feels like a bounce otherwise. Maybe put " temptation to offer help-" You have an extra comma in this sentence.-“What do you know about the disappearances?” He hated asking the question,, but he had to know, b...
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