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steveo78's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: KC, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
LOC: KC, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
I spent the better part of a decade traveling this country and others before feeling audacious enough to write anything. I enjoy raising my son, a good book, a good scotch, a good romp, and cleaning hand guns in the dark at 3a.m., as well as furthering my search for what’s left of America.
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I really hope they give refunds
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Version 1
13 Reviews
23 Comments
I once knew a girl who spoke mostly in haikus. Her name was Jalaya, and we met at a Phish show outside of Pittsburgh(the Star Lake Amphitheater in Burgettstown). I was chillin' at Phil and Tonya's pizza van, which provided a decent front for D, Louie, and me to sling herb and some e. And by some, I mean a metric ass ton. Quantum even. That was back when you could get pressies for three fifty a jar. The lot was packed, and business(both legal and questionable) was booming. And so was the piece...
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Version 1
14 Reviews
1 Comment
I woke up on a straw mat in a hidden temple dedicated to Pan in the pre-dawn hours of the morning. I was in North County(San Diego), several miles into the Palomar Mountain wilderness, feeling the urge to hitchhike again, the calling, pulling me to god knows where as surely as flesh hooks pull me off the ground and into a state of religio-trancendence. As enjoyable and educational as my time was in the temple, the last of the ayahuasca was fading, I had had my vision, and knew where my next d...
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"like I told ya, what I said, Steal Your Face right off your head" "Rat in a drain ditch, dogs in a pile, nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile"
I always feel as if I should read the previous chapter before reviewing these, but I'll try to do my best with what I have. You have a very meticulous approach up until the point where Megan is offered the assistant's position with the hospital. It seems like much is skipped over or rushed through to get to her discovering the lump on her breast. While not too technical, covering the inital process to her discovering she has cancer also seems accelerated. Then the reader is forced to jump thr...
I really hope this was intended to be written using god-awful spelling and a complete disregard for the English language, because computers come with spell-check more or less standard now. If not, please, for me, focus your attacks and try to give an argument that doesn't look like a long text message.
Isn't this a pain? Six words- I cough six words. Encapsulating a life is a difficult enough task, but when you're forced to reduce it down to roughly a third of a haiku, it's even harder. My only suggestion, because I honestly like where you're going and how it's said, is to change "Eternal singledom" to the more grammatically correct: Eternally single. That's essentially it. The concept of a "friendly enemy" is something I'm sure most people can relate to. Good job.
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