spiffy's profile

The meter seems out of rhythm in a couple of places. The content is very general and boring. We have nothing to identify with and don't know what these violent scenes are about. The imagery is not very detailed, just general violent scenes. It keeps repeating the same thing and ends with no resolution.

Wow, this is great. I have been reviewing crap all day so it is nice to read something good. Content: Cheesy love poem. However, it is done very well. The opening bit about the moon. I get this as the moon reflecting light of her own time zone, pretty clever. Getting drunk to mimic the intoxication she brings you, that's ok I guess but a bit cliche. It is all formed very nicely so any cliche element is easily forgiven. From here it gets pretty mushy and sexual and gets off track a bit from th...

I don't know... Yeah it is very nice sounding, but haikus are designed to sound nice. But it is nice. I don't think it really speaks of any profundity or could swell any emotion in me. What secrets could a wave have? I mean I get it and aoll, it just seems middling. I would be interested in seeing what else you right in any case.