snarfus's profile

snarfus avatar
AGE: 31
LOC: Drexel Hill, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 07

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
8 Reviews   3 Comments
         Polecat looked out the window of the second floor class room of the condemned elementary school in West Philadelphia. The criminals he had shaken down so for that day had told him that Blitz dealers often made sales here. He had scoped out the dilapidated building and chose Room 202 as his stakeout point. Tactically, it was a sound decision; the windows had a clear view of street it faced, as well as the two nearest intersections, allowing him ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews   4 Comments
         Randy Davenport woke up and looked at his clock. 11:15 am. He groaned. He hadn’t meant to sleep so late. On the other hand, summer was running out, and he wouldn’t have the luxury of sleeping in for much longer. Still, he had things to do today. With a sigh, he heaved himself out of bed and went about the usual morning business.         After he had showered, brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, and ...
Ratings & Rankings
Horror / Prayer
Version 1
13 Reviews   8 Comments
           Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Hear the prayer of Your humble servant.             First, I ask of you to forgive my sins. A member of the congregation, Jasper Howell, came to me last Tuesday seeking comforting words, words of the Lord. Jasper looked as if he had seen years worth of horrors in less than a day. I’ve know Jasper quite a while and knew well ...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   5 Comments
         Even in the darkness of the warehouse, Polecat could see the guns pointed at him. There were three armed men altogether- two right in front of him, one off to his left. Holding his quarterstaff out in front of him, Polecat thought that if the general public knew about the armed thugs making threats in warehouses that smelled like urine, they’d think being a superhero was much less glamorous.        It should&...
Ratings & Rankings
Action Adventure / See How They Twist and Shout
Version 1
9 Reviews   8 Comments
         Chester Davenport grimaced as the burly federal agent hefted him to his feet. Manacles were none too gently slapped on his wrists as he was forcibly loaded into the back of the prisoner transport vehicle. Arrest was unpalatable enough for the average citizen, but he was The Whirligig- the Sultan of Spin, the Viceroy of Vertigo, one of the most notorious (and stylish) paragons of super-villainy of the last 25 years! His peers would never let him...
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Reviews
Short Story / 6 words
Locked
Not bad, but it feels like you're skipping a lot. You say you've only felt it twice before, but you on elaborate on the first time. You're leaving out a big chunk of story that can give more clues about the speaker. Also, we go from internet posting to having been together for awhile. Throw in how things happened on the first person-to-person meet.
Short Story / Clock
Locked
Flash Fiction / Megan G
Not bad, love the description. However, we don't get a full view of her as a character, because you only really describe her lower half. Talk about the face and upper torso, especially since the narrative voice sounds like a male, and men start at the face and work their way down, not vice versa.