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skylight7908's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Erie, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 29
LOC: Erie, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 29
I’m a 28 year old nursing student and mother of three. I began writing as a hobby many years ago when I was a teen. I currently have two poems that have been published. I enjoy writing so much that I have decided to write my first novel in hopes that maybe someday it can be published. I hope you all enjoy!
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Version 2
8 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter 1 ...It was chasing her down the dark wooded path. She could hear its' footsteps not far from behind her. Her heart was racing. She had been running for so long that she could hardly breathe. Although the night sky was filled with the light of the full moon, the rays that were caught in the branches of the trees were barely able to be seen on the path. She was hardly able to keep her balance as she ran down the winding path, stumbling on the twisted roots of the trees and vines, scra...
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Version 1
67 Reviews
12 Comments
Children's Lullaby By Jennifer Belfiore Go to sleep, Close your tired eyes, Stop your little cries, It's time for bed. Go to sleep, It's time for bed, Time to lay down, Your sweet little head. It's time for dreaming, Of little puppy dogs, Playing in the mud, Catching little frogs. It's time for dreaming, Without any fear, Don't you worry baby, I'll always be near.
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Very descriptive in the way he talks about his love for Tae. Very emotional and heartfelt. Is professionally written. Good Job overall. IYou definitely have a talent worth shaping.
I enjoy this story. It is written so tha I was able to connect with the mother who is having a difficult time with her son. My son is Adhd and so I can totally connect. The piece is written professional. Nice flow to it. Easy to read. This is a good style of writing. You can definitely feel the emotion being portrayed in the story. I don't think it was over done, or done too little. I think it is just right. I love the part of the story where Michael is fishing with his father. You can feel t...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
The word you use make for a very elegant poem I just think that it needs refined. You rhyme though part of the poem but not throughout making it inconsistent. Parts are hard to follow. I still enjoyed reading it. The message being protrayed is still clear enough to understand. Maybe just put this into verses and it will make more sense. Keep writing. With some refinement this is gonna be really good.
I like the description of the mannequin. How it felt powdery "like the wings of the moths in the grandfather's bug collection". I love how each scene is worked up to and progresses such as the way the mannequin went from somewhat tranquil to horrifying. "And fucking she was" is not a complete sentence. Am I picturing her looking blurry or fucking someone right now in this sentence? I think otherwise this is well written. Nice job grammatically and clarity. It kept me enthralled to want to rea...
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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