Wow, this is sort of a sexy poem, and I love a lot of the imagery. The idea of an intimate "journey" is not unique, but you take an old idea and rework it well. The one suggestion I would make is with the line "I’ve never felt so happily lost/yet so in control." With all the quiet, oceanic imagery - somehow this takes me out of the rest of the poem. I find myself stumbling over this line as I am reading it. Maybe there is another way you could say this and keep with the image and the rhythym?

*LOL* Um...I have no idea what to say. My educated guess would be that you're trying to be funny. If not, though...

This is so cool with lots of imagery. The first few lines are a little awkward (I had to re-read them a few times and I still stumbled), but there is a lot of beautiful moments and excellent lyricism. I like "ashen alleyways" and the stones from the soothsayers feet and the idea of being "partnered by ink" (which I'm not sure what it means, but it sounds great and there are several possible interpretations).

This is very unusual and at first, I couldn't decide if I liked it. But the rhyme is sort of infectious and it works. Plus, there's so much more here after the first glance. I like "night sky that's sun-dried daily" and you seem to be using a lot of simply-put brilliant images here. I am still a little iffy with the phrase "somin’ like love" - it's a little more slang than the rest of the poem and it trips me up every time I re-read it because it's more like dialect. But I do like it and I ho...

I love the lyricism here - you have a real grasp of line break and rhyme scheme. I love that you used quotations, too - it's sort of sarcastic and we can totally hear a doctor or parent saying these things. The only thing I would appreciate more would be a vision - something I can picture in my mind. Tell us something about what sickness looks like or a simile to tell us what feeling bad for your friend is like.

Wow, this is so lovely! I wasn't expecting this when I opened it up, since I've been reading bad poetry all morning. There's so many great lines here, so much see and feel and almost even taste. My only critique would be to play around with the last stanza, because the second line there ("we may be media hungry...") feels a little clunky and cliche. But the idea is great and I look forward to seeing further drafts.

I like the idea behind this, but it feels like a bit of a skeleton. There are so many abstract ideas, but not a lot of concrete ones (confusion, sublime, curious). Possibly it's just my personal preference, too, when it comes to poetry but I feel muddled in all the "of" this and "of" that references. "Looking glass of my mind" is a cool way to put something; "cranial lands of seclusion" is...not so much. Other such phrasings I'd consider rewriting: "weeds of doubt," "ocean of pain," and "curr...

You have a great handle on rhyme, but this feels a little sparse. I can neither "see" anything in this poem nor do I have any particular revelations reading it. Though it's mundane, it has nice potential. Keep working!

My gut reaction to this is that, while interesting, it does feel a bit *too cryptic*. An evil sorcerer made him do it, but what is it? I feel like this might be regarding a recent media event (ahem) but while I was able to figure out that much, it wasn't entirely clear - or wouldn't have been had I not known about it. Also, you have a really cool metaphor going on, but some of your lines don't feel quite...poetic enough? I'm not sure of a better way to say it - they just feel a little choppy ...

I think this poem has some truly gorgeous moments: "mingling of carefree shadows," "soft platinum light," "sun-brittled blind." The lyricism of the poem is clear evidence of your ear for musicality and the speaker's voice is consistent throughout, remaining soft, quiet. However, there are a few kinks you might like to work out - for instance, several of your adjectives to describe objects and states read as cliches. I've heard "silvery" to describe moonlight more times than I can count (and, ...