shadowedxrain's profile

shadowedxrain avatar
AGE: 22
LOC: Winona, MN
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 02

I am a fourth year theatre major at Winona State University, and I’m pursuing direction. For the longest time, I thought I was going to be a writer or a playwright, but I found my love and joy in theatre. I still write, but many of the posts I put on here are old works, not new. I’m getting back into writing again, and I really appreciate the feedback I’ve been getting.

I adore all literature, and books were my first love. I have an insatiable interest in royal history and (royal) historical jewels…I love history in general, but I especially love it in these items. Music is another great love of mine; of just about any kind and caliber, but I especially love choral works and adore singing whenever I can.

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Items
Poetry / 6 word memoir #1
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
Found light, breathed deep, stepped forward.
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / "Irish Mourn"
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
Cool green mists Float over the sea as the run rises tremulously over the shoreline A woman wearing silk Greek silk Floats over the sand as lightly as the breeze She sings a lonely, haunted ballad Which prickles the hair at my nape As she walks past The wind whips and floats her hair With the lilting Irish breeze The resonance of the cliffs and hills The irresistible chorus of the emerald waves below her The melody of the wind The song of the sea. She mourns her lost love And as the wind carr...
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Poetry / Jade
Version 1
7 Reviews   1 Comment
"Jade" The aching silence broke open onto a horizon full of light The tremulous dawn spreading across the rustling grasses, While he stood, drinking in the delicious turquoise breaking on the shore at his feet His toes burrowed softly into the cold, crumbly sand, Echoing. The smooth rumble of the ocean awakening The soft breeze dancing across his cheek While she slid an arm around his waist And breathed gently into his side. The glass bit into his palm As drops of blood mingled with the sand ...
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Poetry / Chaos
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
The light's dim shadow falls across my limbs Illuminating the jagged soul within The thoughts entangled within a living metaphor The omnipotence burning fiercely within Refusing to die Refusing to give in The murky currents of endangered lives The clouded, swirling haze of fear throbs inside the shell Intertwining reality with imagination Knowing no end Its bloodied exterior betraying the pulsing corpse within The thoughts of the heart echoing and reverberating throughout time immortal The fe...
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Poetry / Memory
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
He comes to me in timeless shadow His image comforts me I can feel his prescence I know he's there... I can feel his arms around me Holding me close I can feel his heart beating against my chest Forcefully and rapidly I can feel his eyelashes brush my cheeks Dragging downward, as if to torment me I can feel his breath A warm veil of enigma on my cheek His lips brush soundlessly across my skin Their softness slowly relaxing me I can feel his tenderness His need In every movement he makes I kno...
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Reviews
Poetry / Lines on a Page
by Anonymous
This certainly made me smile. There are still a few punctuational things to fix...for example, the last line of the first stanza should look as such: "and sound pretty, too." I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme in the stanza when you downplay rhyme, talk about poetic irony! The tone is still a little stiff, don't be afraid to use exclamation points or question marks, they add a certain lilt to your tone and tempo.
Limericks / An Obama Limerick (April 9, 2009)
by obamafu
Very quirky and fun limerick, I enjoyed it. The use of the ellipsis on the third line seems unnecessary, I think a comma would work just as well. The "best of luck" could be bumped down a line, or else use the "best" in a lower case format.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Lyrics / DESENCHANTEE
by dragonshaker
I really enjoy that this is a bilingual piece; trés bien. The lyrics themselves are solid, and the scant punctuation works for the flow and the tempo of the piece. However, I would like to make a few suggestions regarding word choice in the English translation (and I do understand that this was written en français first). First verse: "floating in the almost empty atmosphere." "almost empty" is awkward and it stunts the whole verse. An alternative suggestion would be "nearly empty," "voided,"...
Poetry / The Genocidal State
by Spriglief
The idea is good, it just needs some structure. The first line is confusing and borderline awkward--"the genocidal" is too vague a label. There are some punctuation errors (or lack thereof), and I feel that with punctuation at the end of the lines (even just occasional comma usage), the poem would vastly improve in tone and tempo.
Poetry / The Fatima Tree
by Spriglief
This is a beautifully written piece--it seems almost more like a prayer than a poem. It by no means diminishes the effect. I would suggest a few punctuation corrections: in stanza 4, having the period at the end of the first line interrupts the flow. A semi-colon would work well at the end of the following line. In stanza 5, the same period usage disrupts the flow; changing it into a comma allows the words to flow and the tempo changes with it. Overall, very enjoyable.
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Poetry / House of Cards
by Deadsage
Poetry / Ripped Jeans.
by miamonster
Poetry / 11th Day of Summer's End
by jebozid
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / DEMOLITION
by onetoein

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