sdgriffitts's profile 
AGE:
59
LOC: Oceanside, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 07
LOC: Oceanside, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 07
Hello!
The handsome fellow in the picture is Kama Kerpi, the inspiration for the main character in my story, “The Kumul.”
I started writing short stories in the early 1990’s as a form of personal therapy while going through a divorce. Many of my stories originated as love letters to my children, which I then converted to short stories. A number of my stories discuss my Christian faith and how it has gone for me.
I spent 10 years working overseas on consulting projects for Chevron, including two years each in Kazakhstan, Angola, and Nigeria, a year in Australia and Papua New Guinea, and a few months in Venezuela, England, Ireland, plus a few other less significant places. My experiences in these exotic places ga…
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Version 2
4 Reviews
5 Comments
A quarter moon sat high in the evening sky, pockmarked and shadowed. From time to time a curtain of clouds partially obscured its face, along with the sprinkling of stars in the otherwise clear sky. The cool summer’s night air was stirred only by a light breeze leaving the bay still and smooth as glass, save for the subtle rippling of underwater currents. Other than the rhythmic clanging of a distant bell buoy, the only sound was the water lapping gently against the hull of the boat. Mollie s...
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
A quarter moon sat high in the evening sky, pockmarked and shadowed. From time to time a curtain of clouds partially obscured its face, along with the sprinkling of stars in the otherwise clear sky. The cool summer’s night air was stirred only by a light breeze leaving the bay still and smooth as glass, save for the subtle rippling of underwater currents. Other than the rhythmic clanging of a distant bell buoy, the only sound was the water lapping gently against the hull of the boat. Mollie s...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
Just as the sun touched the ridge of the hills across the lake Petey began to bark anxiously, frantically running back and forth between the water and me. “PETEY!” I shouted. “What’s the matter with you?” Then I saw him, slowly making his way toward me from the far side of the lake, coming around the bend, gliding his wooden skiff into the golden path provided by the setting sun. At last the boatman had returned for me. I found myself overwhelmed with a sinking feeling and a sense of emptines...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
6 Comments
As my worries about Brett began to escalate, a remembrance came to mind of the years I spent working overseas. In those days, I would be gone for a month at a time every other month. The whole time I was gone I would pine away for my boys. I couldn’t do anything but think about them and dream about the great times we would have when I got home. I missed them terribly. The work I was doing was stressful and mentally exhausting. Chevron had imposed huge expectations on me as the project manager...
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Version 1
4 Reviews
1 Comment
In the early afternoon I received another visitor. A young woman walked quickly up the beach toward me, diminutive in stature with a well-proportioned medium build and glorious auburn hair reaching halfway down her back. When she got closer Danielle cocked her head to one side and gave me a little queen wave with one hand, “Hi, Dad!” she said cheerily. I stood to greet her and she embraced me tightly in her arms. “Wow! This is quite a place you have here. It’s beautiful!” “Yes, isn’t it?” I a...
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First, some grammatical suggestions: liquor storeowners s/b liquor store owners "he was the kind of King..." s/b "he was kind of the King..." "my drink of choice and [that of] and most..." hyphenate cute-faced, snake-like, forty-ouncers "[When] Clump laid next to me on the slab..." "cigarette and [a] Pepsi" Now, more substance and clarification: I get the impression that the pit is kind of down in a hole since you said it was 15 feet down. If so, you might comment on the probably lack of vent...
You have an overabundance of comma's. I think the trend today is to minimize comma's. They are intended to assist the reader, but I think you have so many that they have become a distraction. moons glow = moon's glow Try not to start sentences with but or and unless it is really necessary. Sometimes it is appropriate. I think you focused too much on descriptions and used too many adjectives. You need to focus more on the plot. What is the story? Show us the story. Give us action to tell us wh...
seemed [tob] have bucket brigade zealously battling a grease fire - Excellent! Very clear picture. The first paragraph leads us to believe there are not many people around. Then later you tell us that all the tables in the restaurant were nearly all full. You might want to clarify. He missed all the high notes,expelling his breath in a sibilant hiss when he did so. - I love all the detail you have put into the story. It really helps to paint the picture. This is a very sweet and enjoyable sto...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
The first four lines should all be one paragraph. They are all description. Nice, ironic twist at the end. It kind of subtly lays a guilt trip on us. However, I don't know many people who would leave more than a dollar in change with a cashier at a candy stand. You point is well taken, but I think you might improve on the example. Make it $9.42 or something. That seems to me to be more plausible.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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