samatmyspace's profile
AGE:
50
LAST LOGIN: June 27
LAST LOGIN: June 27
Hey, my name is Sam. I’m 47, married and have been writing all of my life; poetry, songs, short stories and novels. I am currently sending around my latest novel in hopes of publication. Any and all comments are welcome.
Items
Version 1
20 Reviews
0 Comments
The room echoes his movements as he walks. Each step calling out his presence. The walls and floor are pure black African marble, mined by his father's company. He walks to the center of the room. From there he is surrounded on all sides by the great glass covered enclosures. A museum in the round. Behind the glass is a terrarium, divided into sections. Some sections are warm and dry. Others moist, the humidity collecting on the glass. Others have no roof, allowing the sun to shine in. Still ...
Version 1
29 Reviews
1 Comment
Sitting across from me, I see her shudder. The soft expanse of sweet youth. Her golden hair reminds me of days spent at the lake, her innocence fills the room with new found strength. Freedom is just around the corner. I bury my face in the morning paper, associating myself with worldly notions. It's a quarter to nine. "Shouldn't we be in chemistry?" she says. She flicks a strand and eyes her companion. They've been here before, it's clear. The waitress calls them lucky strikes, and I wish I ...
Version 1
42 Reviews
0 Comments
He watched her come walking out of the building, her body language announcing she was all full of purpose. Her hair was wet. She was alone of course, as she should be. She'd come right from work. This was her escape. The ladies gym. The place where she came everyday after work before coming home. Just another part of her routine. He watched through the windshield of this unfamiliar car. A rental. He watched her walk the length of the parking lot. Towards him. Near her car, where she'd parked ...
Version 1
49 Reviews
0 Comments
He drives around in the foothills outside of town. Preferring to be alone on "duty" days. Nobody knows where he goes or what he does. Nobody really wants to know. Especially not Ellen, the woman that's stood by him for thirty three years. These days he drives a new pickup truck. One of the big ones. It's all black and has a satellite radio in it In the early years, it had been that beat up old green station wagon. The one with the AM radio. Didn't work to well in the hills. He likes to listen...
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Reviews
Well done. A very moving tale. And so polished I doubt I could find one single thing out of place. And yet... Okay, first, it sounds like an excerpt from a larger work. And without the story around it, it rings sort of hollow. Also, the build-up and reaction seemed to happen at a much quicker pace then I would have expected. After getting just a few words out, the crew is already on the upswing, their juices flowing, ready to jump into action, when they had been so all down in the mouth only ...
I'm a little torn with this one. On the one hand, it's very well written. The sentence structure, the word choices, the way it flows. All very well done. But, on the other, I think I must be missing something. I didn't get the part about the angel or the stuff with voice and the wings and all that. I just didn't know what that was about or why. Also, I had the feeling, in the beginning, when you're describing the boardroom, I got the feeling that it was from the point of view of someone that ...
Well, I just love your use of the language. The way you paint with them. Use them to ignite our passion for your story. And I liked your story too. Although, it did get a bit busy in the middle, with many more "we did this's" than I thought were necessary. And I liked all the stuff you were able to put into one little story. The family stress, the characters behind the cause, and then the trip to New Orleans (i'm assumng this was written before the hurricane?) All in all, a very well written,...
Nicely done. I found myself smiling in recognition as I was reading. I liked how you tapped so cleanly into that inner turmoil. And how you made us feel the way this character was feeling, while they were in it. I like your voice too, and your imagery. But mostly, I liked what you had to say. That said, there are of course a couple of not so lovey-dovey things I felt about this piece. First, there are a LOT of short stories out there about love, relationships, sex, etc. It's difficult to not ...
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