I found it a bit too deep which prevents the primary idea from being allowed its space.

Another great one, thanx.

I found the middle line needing a bit more expression.

The first two lines are great but tends to lose itself in the third, great piece aside.

A great piece but needing to be in line with haiku priciples, 5-7-5.

Thats just snazzy, a real ellipses, or is it an eclipses of the heart and soul. Whatever. It snagged my attention for its depth of clarity in a heart beat. Well Done!!! TEN/TEN.

I found the thought compellingly so, easily able to be attached and become part of it and its direction, thankyou.

Loved the protracted sustain of the reference to ceiling and looking up, creates a positive where in there is this whole lot of sadness is going on.

Love this continual reference to wisdom and or inspiration on a sensual level. Also enjoyed the illiteration in the start and hungered to see it again but alas. good over all.

I would like to see the repitition of the two sides used a lot more through out the piece.