rosalind's profile

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AGE: 39
LOC: Cincinnati, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 20

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Novel Treatments / Sitting in the Front
Version 1
4 Reviews   5 Comments
8 1 An ordinary building, or so it appeared to the naked eye. Its significance depended on the viewer, or more succinctly, on the viewer’s needs. You had to be someone for whom it satisfied a need to even notice it. If not, it was doubtful you would even glance in its direction. Later, if someone asked you its location, you would know you had seen it, but would have a hard time placing it. How different for those who frequented it. For them it was a source of comfort. They would be in a state...
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Novel Treatments / Sitting in the Front
Version 2
5 Reviews   3 Comments
3 In the midst of all the hoopla sat Eula Mae Jackson, or Mother Jack, as she was affectionately called. Mother Jack smiled with approval as her eyes wandered over the spirited congregation. A stalwart elder of Little Ebenezer, Eula had been with the church since its inception over twenty-odd years ago. Next to Reverend Hopkins, she was regarded as one of the cornerstones of the small church. Members with problems were referred to Eula Mae first, before they were allowed to disturb the Revere...
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Novel Treatments / Peeling The Onion
Version 1
8 Reviews   11 Comments
PEELING THE ONION CHAPTER ONE-10 IMPENDING NUPTIALS Sydney Harrington rolled down the window down of her late model convertible Jag. “Robin Givens” she spoke into the voice activated electronic gate. Elaborate wrought iron doors swung open noiselessly at the familiar sound of her voice. The beauty of Harrington House and its impeccable landscaping eluded her. Although early morn, the **Japanese lights illuminated the estate and showcased expensive statues and other objet’s d’ art designed to...
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Novel Treatments / The Fort (part 2)
A total hook! You have the reader wondering who Robbie is, what is happening, and give the appearance that we will find out in Robbie's time, and not a minute before! A very interesting premise thus. It would help if we knew what the house looked like, and along with the emotions Robbie was feeling what he was doing with himself, like pacing, picking up objects, sweating, and even better, wondering and coming up with possibilities about who this could be. This was my first read, hadn't read t...
Novel Treatments / Most Likely To....
A very cute story. I would work a little bit more on description and using punchier words. It might help to know a bit more about the protagonist too. Considering she's making a change of this nature it would help to know what her husband thinks, and a little teaser about what we as readers are to expect. Although I enjoyed reading it because of your fluid and easy style, I found myself wondering what this story was going to be about. As an author you left me absolutely no clues as to where t...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / The Twelve Bloody Days of Christmas- Chapter 6
Good work. I guess I'm coming in too late though, because I'm a little confused. It seemed like the killing was about a couple and then it started talking about the children. Maybe I missed previous chapters and this is adding onto what already happened? It would have helped to have some more description too. Like what did the room they were in look like. How did they look? Were they tired, weary, starting the day, or ending it? I wasn't getting a feel for the atmosphere. The writing is good ...
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