rick_green's profile

rick_green avatar
AGE: 31
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 14

RG blogs at palimpsest.org.uk/rickgreen

Stop by and say hello.  _

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Items
Version 1
12 Reviews   5 Comments
Vast formless light condenses, takes a fall; Is born into this labyrinthine tomb. The soul, a timeless oneness knowing all, Begins forgetting life before the womb. So senile months lead on to helpless years. The gaudy play of matter fills our eyes; We take for true the puppet-king of tears, Bewildered by his infinite disguise. No matter how we trim our candles’ wick The glow shines less & less into the night. We tremble at the clock’s incessant tick And long for guidance from a stronger light...
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
“A woman ought to know her place, and do Just like her man would have her do. If I Had my way, she’d only speak when spoke to. No looking daggers either, but a sigh Of fawning gratitude would be alright. Hold on. I’ll do it later Ma!” He screams, And slams his postered door, resumes. “At night She’d have to be a perfect whore, bring dreams To life, enact my every twisted whim.” We hear the cane approaching in the hall; His mom comes in. “You’d better mind me, Slim! You’re pushing thirty, cros...
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Poetry / deleted
Version 1
15 Reviews   1 Comment
deleted
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
11 Reviews   1 Comment
Reflect, you bookish ones, on what you seek In words. In this word: truth. A simple sound, Five letters put together, it’s not Greek To you or me. But search the wide world ‘round— In conversations, books, in lecture halls And seminars—you’ll never yet digest Those letters, nor surmount the outer walls To gaze upon the garden they suggest. The princely Dane's philosophy is right, For strange and true experiences lurk There in the wings, preparing, out of sight. To rend the veil of words is al...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   6 Comments
In youth, I idolized Hakeem the Dream Olajuwon, Nigeria’s favorite son (Or so I guessed). He grew up a handball Player in steamy Lagos. The city park Resounded with his puissant smashes, banked Off walls. He ruled as if a king at court (Or so the legend runs). A scout, to court This gentle giant, speaks about undreamed- Of wealth. To a youth without his own bank Account it seems a joke. He’s a good son Though, and signs the papers, then bids the park, Family & friends, and also handball (It h...
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Reviews
Poetry / Georgie
Formally, it's very nice. Not a word seems out of place. Rhythm and pacing are right on. Interesting ambiguity of subject, reversing archetypes of class & race , playing with the national mythology. I'm not sure what it boils down too--maybe just the sad, enduring fact of racism, violence and apathy. Nice work.
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Good stuff. I'm not really into chick-lit, but if I was I'd like this. It's got a real smell of money about it. One suggestion: try more line breaks and paragraph breaks. Normally, each new set of quotation marks get a new line. It makes things much easier on the reader. Keep up the good work.
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A coffee-house pickup. Very sensual language throughout. One thing threw me: ballet flats on a cold, rainy night? That's sensual, but not in an pleasant way. I thought it was kind of funny that "independant films" should be a conversation topic. So cliche, so faux bohemia, but then again, so perfect for this contemporary coffee-house culture. This reads like Harlequin romance for the alternative set.
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Gripping narrative. It's terrible what alcohol can do to people. That stuff is poison. You tell the story in a straightforward, unpretentious way. I feel good about the heroine's resolve to rise above her father's example. Inspiring piece.
This looks promising. I like the idea of the subconcious mind causing trouble. It might be difficult to make a convincing description of the technology described here. Probably best that you don't bother. I'd gladly read on, so that must mean you're doing something right. Keep it up!
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ITEMS (2)

 

Poetry / Georgie
Poetry / Let's Not

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