I like this, from it I am getting a sense of seizing the moment, becoming an individual and making choices for yourself, choosing your own destiny. I did not really like the last line, I liked the idea of choices, but "play", to me, doesn't really fit and I feel you could find something better the choices could be doing, and maybe even a better way to describe a night sky, than just saying "the stars of the sky."

I think that this poem could serve well on a fathers day card from a daughter, you should look into doing that. This does well in telling how you feel, but it doesn't really show how you feel, which is why i think it would work on a card of some sort. If you are trying to write a poem that would set you apart as a great writer, you need to work on expressing yourself in a more poetic way where you show the reader how you feel, rather than just telling them. Lines like "always made me feel lov...

I think that you should try to find something else to say other than "in the middle" since you said "at the center" in the line before, but you should definitely keep "where its wet." Also, i am not sure about the line "a huge hard hammering cock" because the rest of the poem you are being a little vague about the content of the poem, and to me that line was too direct and kind of wrecked the mystery you had going earlier in the poem.

I liked how each stanza had a rise and fall effect, where it builds and then you would finish with something about how that lost love detracts from these different things in your life. I don't have any real huge critiques, only little suggestions that you could could consider. You could possibly change each month (since you have four) into a season that corresponds with the months you currently have; but the month names do sound pretty compared to the names of the seasons. Also, i love the ti...

you left the "p" out of "imprisonment" I would suggest not using "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" because it seems really cliche to me, like a lot of people use it or make a reference to it, so there isn't much unique or original about it.

Here you are portraying your sense or worthlessness, how you feel lost, and betrayal; you used a lot of cliches like the idea of mirrors and reflection, "my passion lies on the floor", "you have forsaken me", "shattered glass" and even the ending "I am..." I have seen i works before. I think you should try to find a way to convey your feelings and emotions in a way only you would say it, you should conjure up language so it is full of your own voice, I feel like I have read a ton of other poe...

I like the idea of the waiting wall, but in this poem you described what you do at the waiting wall and I feel like a poem that describes the wall itself, and compared to deceased person would serve better than telling what you did at the wall. In a poem readers are more eager to search for a poetic expression of the emotions you felt, rather than the actions you did while at the wall.

I recently have gotten into a relationship with another poet, we actually met because she liked my poetry that she read online and started talking to me, so I can easily relate to this poem. I would change the part about getting lost in the persons eyes, because its a cliche way of explaining falling in love or meeting someone special, you hear that phrase everywhere and you are trying to convey this special unique bond between two people and it doesn't seem to fit for me. You should also sca...

This works well as a description of something that happens to you, I think it could work better as a descriptive paragraph. As far as poetry goes, you are telling the reader how you feel, and you should be attempting to show them how you feel. In poetry, when someone reads it they should not be reading a description of what happened, but should feel the emotions you felt felt/feel. You also want to be careful about using the word "I" because it often turns into a description of how you feel a...

i feel like i have seen a poem like this many times; all it is, is a list of things that make you happy, and they are all cliches. "Happy I am to be alive" is one of the most basic and cliche things to say, I am pretty sure every person has said that before. In poetry you should aim to express yourself in a way that only you would say it, if your aim is to write good poetry. Try reading some poetry by authors that are regarded as great poets and find one you really like; then try to write a p...