ria1985's profile

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AGE: 23
LAST LOGIN: April 16

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Version 1
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The average life of a five pound note is 2 weeks, or at least that’s what Julie had heard, and at this particular moment of her overwhelmingly dull day behind the checkout, that piece of trivia drifted through her thoughts, providing a welcome break from the mind numbing, intermittent beep of her scanner, which was on its last legs. The reason that she stopped to wonder about the life of a five pound note was because the monetary specimen being offered over the counter to her at this moment, ...
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Short Story / Clayton Hills
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
In the end..... Writhing in agony, Lucy squirmed desparately in one last ditch attempt to stop the flow of blood spilling out from her wound. Her hands fumbled at the gaping injury just beneath her rib cage as she tried repeatedly to plug the hole with something...anything. There was too much blood. Every inch of her body was totally and utterly consumed by the pain which you she tried in vain to block out. "Why are you doing this to me?!" She whimpered. He loomed over her, dark and menacing....
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Short Story / Anxiety attack
Version 1
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She could feel the sickness writhing in the pits of her stomach again, it curdled her insides and burned intensely at the back of her throat. Her legs felt cold and numb again, as did her arms and fingertips. She watched as they pressed the keys at the computer, but she could no longer feel them, they had become seperate from her being as if they belonged to someone else. The left side of her chest stings every few moments with a sharp and intense pain just beneath the ribs. She needs the to...
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Short Story / Waiting for Lisa
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Jane remembered that there had been hundreds of sun seeking holiday makers at the beach that June day a million years ago and she always recalled how totally detached she had felt as she sat there on the outskirts of the crowd, with her knees tucked up against her chest. The sun had pounded down onto her face and shoulders as she ran her fingers through the crisp sand surrounding the towel and staring out at the ocean she felt completely at peace. She wished she could always feel like this. "...
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Version 1
10 Reviews   2 Comments
For aslong as I can remember I have been obsessed with reading and writing. There is something about the written word that has always captured my attention without effort. So for me to become a writer seemed an obvious yet daunting prospect. I decided to try my hardest to tell you a story. I don't know what it will be about, where it will lead or how I will tell it, but I promise to write it. Cut on my thumb.... I noticed that the cut on my thumb had started to bleed again. The blood seeped u...
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Reviews
This was probably one of the most enjoyable pieces of writing I have read on here. Dialogue was superb, really flowed, and the description of those little details, such as describing what Peyton does at certain parts of the story in minute detail. Really adds weight to her character. I found myself wanting to know why Peyton was upset and could relate to her character. Especially the part about smoking instead of drinking.. lol. Good ending too. The tones went off..... and?? What next? Lol. W...
There were parts of this that I enjoyed, although overall I felt that it was lacking in something. I understand it's a horror, but some places seem too weird. I also know it's a monologue, but I cant imagine it this way as it becomes confusing. Promising in places, your opening was particularly better than the rest but still needs work.
Short Story / Chasing Fog
I really liked the twist in this short story and also the description you have used through out. It really paints a picture for the reader. The burning of the letter and the scattering of the roses stood out for me particlularly. The only thing I would suggest is to perhaps link the sections together more fluidly, if that makes any sense. A couple of times I had to re-read the last sentence in order to get my bearings, but that might just be me, because I have the same problem with a lot of f...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / BIG BANG
Haha! Loved this. Just one of those incredibly funny things you stumble over every now and again. I haven't read the one you're replying to, but I dont need to appreciate it. Well done.
Short Story / Cosmic Stoner Pt. 1
WOW! Although, I have to admit that parts of this story 'span me out', I still really loved it. There's something about the concentration involved and the re reading of certain sentences to allow them to sink in properly. I love the ending and I think I'm grasping more and more what you actually imply with your story....I wont say what I think incase I'm morbidly wrong! I'd be embarrassed. Anyway, Just to let you know that this whole piece was truly brilliant. Just the type of stuff that SHOU...
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