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readandtellme's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Oklahoma City, OK
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 20
LOC: Oklahoma City, OK
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 20
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Version 1
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2 Comments
We called my maternal grandfather Papa. My sisters and I visited him often and he loved to joke around and tease us. I remember sitting with him for hours watching old movies and game shows on hot summer days. The only rule was, “don’t sit in Papa’s chair.” The punishment for such an offense, he would sit on YOU. I was in high school when we learned Papa had developed lung cancer. It had never really occurred to me that the grandparents I had loved so much would not be...
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I think this is a great idea, but I had a really hard time following the story. The paragraphs seemed very long and I was confused about who the characters were. I prefer for the dialogue to be more separated by paragraphs/space. I like the informal tone, but some of the informal language was distracting....i.e. perturbed, hey, What's up?. Generally, this is a good start. I would work on making it more clear and it needs something to move me through the story other than her daily routine. A c...
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