rck419's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Highland Lakes, NJ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 18
LOC: Highland Lakes, NJ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 18
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At first, Sam thought the shake he’d felt was occurring in his dream, in his head. Then, when the ground beneath him shook again, he awoke with a startle. Impossible, he thought. Nothing could shake the island. Getting up, he made his way down the hall and opened the door of his dad’s room. He was sound asleep, plainly stretched out in bed. The quake felt big enough to have woken anyone. Then he glanced out his dad’s window. Fonteyn, the name of the city as well as the island, was intact. How...
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At first, Sam thought the shake he’d felt was occurring in his dream, in his head. Then, when the ground beneath him shook again, he awoke with a startle. Impossible, he thought. Nothing could shake the island. Getting up, he made his way down the hall and opened the door of his dad’s room. He was sound asleep, plainly stretched out in bed. The quake felt big enough to have woken anyone. Then he glanced out his dad’s window. Fonteyn, the name of the city as well as the island, was intact. How...
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Chapter 1 I fear death. In my head this is my life's greatest truth. My conscience knows that I do not fear my own. No, I do not fear what death can bring to me. I fear the pain suffering of others. It was during the summer about six years ago. I was walking through the city the day it happened. A man, some twenty stories up, fell from a window. I saw him falling. As he fell, my vision began to blur. I fell to the ground, my eyes somehow locked on the blur speeding towards the ground. Then, w...
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i think the fact that it doesnt have a form, and doesnt follow any sort of defined rhyming structure, actually lends to it being a good piece. it's outspoken, and clearly displays the feelings of the writer. something like this is very pop-culture, the out of the ordinary random piece. If done right something like this can be a big thing.
This is an excellent piece of writing. I like how you repeat the same ideas more than once, as that is usually what makes a good piece. Have you written anything larger, as in a story or novel of some sort? If so i'd really like to see how you apply this in a more challenging scenario. Great job.
"I was thrilled to see you anyway" its punctual, and i had to read the twice. very influential way to write, take something that seems unlikely, and turn it around. "and though the version of you that I love doesn't exist" -another great line. it's like saying i wish you were who i want you do be. Your writing style is interesting, and id like to read some of your other longer and probably deeper work.
Very...drawn out. Half of it is trying to explain how someone answers the phone. I'm not really sure where you're going here, although u might be leaving it at that. You need an order of events, past present future. It's very dull and odd.
Your descriptions of people and places and what people think and how they interact etc. (theres tons more) is amazing. You provide rich detail in almost all areas of the human spectrum. Have you written something larger? I'd like to see it if you have.
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