raynola's profile 
AGE:
44
LOC: New Orleans, LA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 03
LOC: New Orleans, LA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 03
I’m a recently-returned New Orleanian, frustrated rescue-hero, and tech-industry burnout. Chin Music Press made the mistake of publishing a story of mine after the storm in the anthology Do You Know What It Means, so now I also go around pretending to be some kind of writer.
David Simon of “The Wire” likes my blog, but not enough to hire me.
Pic taken during a break gutting a famous jazz musician’s Katrina house. I got to haul his moldy collection of flood-soaked master tapes to the front yard to dry. Sigh.
Blog: http://rayinneworleans.moronosphere.com
New Package (on “The Wire” and other David Simon productions): http://newpackage.wordpress.com/
(I know I owe a bunch of people reviews but I’ve had s…
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Version 1
11 Reviews
13 Comments
We were three. I was the oldest, barely nineteen, and I was going back to college in the fall so I was just slumming it for one last summer in New Orleans. Just gutting it out in this swampy hellhole for a couple more months before I could get back to a real city, a city where stuff happened. Sean, next oldest, down from Baton Rouge for a few days because his parents threw him out again, and he was fucking Amanda, who was my ex but who for some reason couldn’t stand how I got so moody all th...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
9 Comments
Despite what some people think of them, I really liked Dan Brown's _The Da Vinci Code_ and (somewhat) _Angels and Demons_. Yeah, it's all fluff, but it was entertaining mindless fluff. I steered clear of _Digital Fortress_, though. Don't know why, I just had a feeling I wouldn't like it. Well, my darling daughter bought me _Digital Fortress_ for my birthday. With her own money. Because she knew I liked Dan Brown's other books. So when your daughter buys you a book with her own money, you read...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
6 Comments
I appreciate all the kind words, folks. I'm OK. That post was done right after I got home from taking the pictures so I was feeling pretty crappy. I didn't mean for it to be a big pity party for myself. Lisa, your Oskar Schindler comment cracked me up. I talked to Karen on the phone, and Karen has done more to save houses in this city than probably anybody else, and we both agreed that when you get emotionally involved in a house, then the first time you drive by and see an empty lot where i...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
9 Comments
It's been three years as of last Friday. Unlike last year, or the year before, I don't have anything uplifting to say. I'm just not feeling it. I'm not struggling, I don't think. I don't really have any compulsions, no monkeys on my back, other than maybe ice cream. But neither am I on some damn pink cloud any more either. For a while I'd been kicking around the notion that maybe someday I could go back out. Just be more careful. Drink like a normie. That whole idea changed a few months ago ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
11 Reviews
12 Comments
I duck into the closest public rest room. My all-access badge could get me into the shelter staff bathroom, but it’s up two flights of stairs and I’ve been holding it long enough as it is. The evacuees have been crashing the public computers for hours and I’m afraid of what will happen if I leave them unattended for too long. I push through the men’s room door. The light inside is dim, the walls a dark brown tile. One of the fluorescents is flickering. In the far corner stands an old black m...
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Reviews
The single best phrase I have read all day: "Nazi-Eskimo prostitutes". Somebody needs to pitch this to a Hollywood agent. You said it was tongue in cheek, and that was no lie. Grotesque even. Some funny images, although if you're really interested in publishing it you need to tighten up the plot. Minor comments: "one needed to make sure that their"...one/their mismatch "There was once the brilliant idea that he had": why passive voice? "He had a brilliant idea once..." "If only he could figur...
100.0% Review Quality (4 Votes)
There is a good story here struggling to get out. You write well, but I think you need to try to tell the story without relying on telling us all of Daisy's thoughts literally. It's too straightforward of an approach. Telling us her thoughts in a sort of sideways manner, through actions and dialog, would make for a more interesting read. Some proofreading comments: You use the word "everyone" three times in the first paragraph. Plus one "everywhere". 2nd paragraph: repeats "those around her" ...
This was pretty funny political satire. I rated it low as a short-story, but would have rated it higher if you had put it in the Satire/Humor category. This kind of satire is tricky in that to do it well you have to have just the right balance of humor and righteous anger. I think you start out well in that regard. The 1-3PM class is probably the weakest; just not funny enough. And too too true. Some minor proofreading comments: It's arguable what the correct use of the apostrophe is on "Unit...
I like how the tension builds in this one. You know tragedy is going to strike, and as you begin to realize that the child is the likely target, it becomes a real, er, well, it would be a page turner if it was more than a page. ;p What I find missing is the "why". A political assassination? And then abruptly the story ends? It leaves me wanting more. Flash fiction in my opinion should give you a whole story, a whole meal, just in a small easy-to-consume portion. This story has great action, t...
I like this story, it's clear you've put some work into it. It leads one to believe that it's a suicide in the making until the hints like "too-thorough searching". But how does she know the fisherman? Is this her man on the side who helps her escape to a new life, her analogue to the busty blonde she sees in the paper? The ending is a bit abrupt, although it says what it needs to say, I suppose. You asked for some grammar/punctuation: "She turned back to check on the old man on the cliff top...
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