Analysis for The Judges from the Salem Apple Pie Contest can Kiss my Ass Forever

Lexical analysis

Number of words (tokens): 1547
Number of distinct words (types): 538
Average number of words per sentence: 16.11
Average number of words per paragraph: 1547.0
Lexical Density: 0.35
Longest Word: 'ribbons---large' (15)
Shortest Word: 'sky' (3)
Ten Most Frequent Words:
pie 31
pies 12
little 8
salem 8
like 6
top 6
dough 6
also 5
table 5
apple 5

Textual analysis

Number of paragraphs: 1
Average number of sentences per paragraph:: 96.0
Longest Sentence: 'it also occoured to me that since i more or less pulled this kick ass pie out of the oven and walked out the door that it was still warm, giving me a subtle advantage over all the other contestants, as who doesn't like warm apple pie?' (47 words)
Shortest Sentence: 'am yet.' (2 words)
Readability according to Gunning-Fog Index
(the higher, the harder to read):		 8.75
Readability according to Automated Readability Index
(the higher, the harder to read):		 -0.52
Readability according to Coleman-Liau Index
(the higher, the harder to read):		 0.28
Average readability
(the higher, the harder to read):		 2.84

Phrasal analysis

Ten most frequent two-word phrases:
apple pie 3
kottage korner 3
criss cross 3
butter festival 2
apple butter 2
radio signals 2
kick ass 2
cross dough 2
dough pattern 2
another table 2
Ten most frequent three-word phrases:
warm apple pie 2
apple butter festival 2
cross dough pattern 2
criss cross dough 2
little bit weird 1
ladies think yer 1
greater salem area 1
next three hours 1
radio signals ever 1
little teensy weensy 1
Ten most frequent two-word phrases, including stop words
my pie 11
of the 8
out of 7
i was 6
of my 6
as i 6
a pie 5
so i 4
on the 4
to the 4
Ten most frequent three-word phrases, including stop words:
of my pie 5
some sort of 2
warm apple pie 2
on the top 2
thought to myself 2
by the way 2
i thought to 2
apple butter festival 2
cross dough pattern 2
out of mine 2
Most frequent two-word phrases:
apple pie 3
kottage korner 3
criss cross 3
butter festival 2
apple butter 2
radio signals 2
kick ass 2
little piece 2
warm apple 2
cross dough 2
dough pattern 2
another table 2
Most frequent three-word phrases:
apple butter festival 2
cross dough pattern 2
criss cross dough 2
warm apple pie 2
Most frequent five-word phrases:
the kottage korner ii restaurant 2
criss cross dough pattern on 2
Most frequent two-word phrases, including stop words:
my pie 11
of the 8
out of 7
i was 6
of my 6
as i 6
a pie 5
a little 4
so i 4
that i 4
on top 4
to be 4
on the 4
all the 4
to the 4
apple pie 3
in salem 3
that they 3
i had 3
i could 3
for a 3
kottage korner 3
top of 3
some sort 3
up and 3
criss cross 3
you know 3
it was 3
i mean 3
to me 3
that was 3
as a 3
for me 3
in my 3
got to 3
by the 2
and this 2
the most 2
kick ass 2
butter festival 2
what a 2
my eyes 2
pie that 2
another table 2
a while 2
pie was 2
apple butter 2
walked in 2
to do 2
is that 2
radio signals 2
and all 2
cross dough 2
happened to 2
the way 2
in the 2
these ladies 2
the next 2
ii restaurant 2
and around 2
to myself 2
a lot 2
my kitchen 2
of this 2
would be 2
near the 2
this masterwork 2
what was 2
the kottage 2
they were 2
such a 2
adorned with 2
pie would 2
of mine 2
was going 2
on that 2
dough pattern 2
around the 2
had a 2
i walked 2
knowing that 2
amount of 2
over and 2
of pies 2
since the 2
their own 2
pattern on 2
and then 2
set the 2
pie for 2
i saw 2
korner ii 2
was a 2
there were 2
am radio 2
of a 2
i'm gonna 2
judging this 2
i thought 2
had been 2
pie and 2
all over 2
into the 2
pick up 2
i rubbed 2
or whatever 2
and over 2
for the 2
a bunch 2
so as 2
thought to 2
were pies 2
sort of 2
on here 2
of what 2
as if 2
warm apple 2
going on 2
bunch of 2
the top 2
in to 2
what happened 2
little piece 2
had to 2
that sketchy 2
making a 2
Most frequent three-word phrases, including stop words:
of my pie 5
a bunch of 2
korner ii restaurant 2
am radio signals 2
what was going 2
thought to myself 2
some sort of 2
i walked in 2
apple butter festival 2
that i had 2
on top of 2
on the top 2
criss cross dough 2
walked in to 2
kottage korner ii 2
top of my 2
cross dough pattern 2
out of mine 2
and around the 2
warm apple pie 2
over and over 2
i thought to 2
for a while 2
by the way 2
there were pies 2
the kottage korner 2
going on here 2
dough pattern on 2
Most frequent four-word phrases, including stop words:
cross dough pattern on 2
i walked in to 2
top of my pie 2
kottage korner ii restaurant 2
i thought to myself 2
the kottage korner ii 2
criss cross dough pattern 2