Good Poem, the subject matter is sound, but it seems to be more anecdotal than analytical or contemplative. I for one would like to see the poem account less for what has happened to the narrator than to go in depth about the emotion and effect personal loss has on us as human beings. Loss is such a powerful force, It would do the writer great justice for him/herself to think about that power and take steps toward understanding it, or at the very least, coping with it.

I thought it was ok until the end when it pulled together to reveal that whole dimension of the narrator equating himself to the shadow, it demonstrated a great sense of control and progression in both thought and form, as well as offering a new kind of take on a subject explored at great lengths, namely the feeling of loss in love. Kudos. The only reason I don't score it higher than 7 is simply b/c, as I said, it is a subject explored at great length and it is next to impossible to fully ren...

Good form, the Rhyme flows even and rythmically. As far as Limmericks go it is pretty good, however I find the standard Limmerick form to be kind of confining and frankly think that it detracts from works where deep ponderance is taking place, such as in your work. I think by work with uneven rhyme, internal rhyme or more unothrodox methods like shortenend lines would heighten the effect of the words (ex: "deed accomplished, concealed pain / live deep within stronger domain / flaws and pride ...

The form is good and the rhyme flows rythmically. This is more of a traditional limmerick/sonnett form however, and I'm more into a modernist ryhme scheme which incorporates interal rhyme, uneven rhyme etc... But that's me and this is you and I believe that in conjunction with the subject matter the form you've got here works best for Swooning the ladies. Your descriptions of sensuality and adoration are original and very well crafted, Many times with this kind of poetry you run the risk of b...

This is an excellent concept of a piece. I felt it got bogged down by failing that old writing idiom "show, don't tell." I feel that the ONLY bit of "telling" should come in the final paragraph--and even that shut be shaved down a bit (for example a sentence like "He[Dog] was incapable of abstract thought..." is unneccessary in that at best, it is something the reader already knows about dogs--at worst the speaker doesn't really know the mind of a dog at all.) I would restructure the last par...

I realize that this is meant to be a short-short story, but even a short short must flow correctly. the last line/paragraph is abrupt and a bit awkward--not to mention the fact that it fails to tie-up the rest of what the story was implying. For instance: "Finding home?" what home was she trying to find? Some location on a map? Is that really "home?" It may sound like I'm nitpicking hairs when I ask that, but in a story this short EVERY WORD has to carry a ton of weight on its shoulders, so "...

I was really into this piece until I reached that fourth stanza--it was both jarring (not in the right way) and felt like someone shoved it inside the poem forcefully. That said, I will try to dissect it best I can... First of all I didn't like the questions in the fourth stanza. You do such a glorious job of careful and vivid description of these two lovers in the first three stanzas that the sudden introduction of the questions, specifically the change in perspective from third person (the ...

I like the poem up until the last line. That last line needs to be reworked, the crossed out word "feeling" absolutely does not work for me--I honestly felt like it was a cop-out. You start off with this wonderful image and deft word selection which implies a great deal, the fact that some prior action needed to be excused, and that forgiveness has not been ACTUALLY rewarded, rather imagined in a dream--This wonderful setup which you totally betray in this lackluster final line. It almost mak...

This piece is mysterious and thought-provoking, the only question I would have would be wether the whole "can not" vs. "Cannot" is intentional, but either way it works. I started to fall into a big lengthy debate about whether what is being claimed in the piece is in fact true or not (I personally believe the mirror of truth is one we tend to refuse to see rather than are unable but that's niether here nor there...) however debating the claim would be the mistake of a rookie reviewer--the pie...

Wow, I never knew Chainsaws were so deep... seriously though, this poem is a great example to me of taking a seldom explored moment and delving deep into it to uncover a buried diamond of thought and ponderance. The only criticsm I have would have to be the First Stanza, specifically the word "with" starting both of the last lines in the stanza--they tripped me up a bit, and within the context of a piece like this, where everything else is so concise and flowing and tight, that left me beggin...