I'm usually not a big fan of this style of poetry, but I actually enjoyed reading this. The only thing that I didn't get (maybe it went over my head) was "dove-skin." I don't really know what that's in reference to, and it somehow seems out-of-place. I'm guessing you're going for the e.e. cummings style of grammar; obviously if you're not then you'd have to go back and capitalize and punctuate. Good piece!

Deceptively short--there's a lot more said in those 196 words than one would think. I like it. I don't see any grammatical errors offhand. The only thing that threw me off were the two back-to-back sentences that began with "With." It sounded odd and I had to go back and reread it. If you change either sentence, though, change the first of the two--I like the "With delicate fingers" sentence. Great read!

I like this. I'm sure there are ways it can be improved, but I can't think of them right now. I've put my writer-self aside; as a reader, I really enjoyed this piece. I particularly like the ending. It's not a jolt of a surprise; it's more like an unexpected whisper. Soft, but catching.

"To have a talent worth shaping--" I think you probably do. Most of what I saw "wrong" were things that can be fixed with editing and experience. I understand that the first half of the poem is kind of looking back into the past and that it switches to our present reflection, but the first three stanzas are first person ("we" feel this, "we" do that), while the fourth stanza suddenly switches. Because of the way your poem is set up, I'd suggest doing third person for the entire "past" and fir...

I think you've got a good grasp on meter, which is something I really appreciate. If this is meant to be a song, then it's probably good as is; if it's meant to be strictly poetry, then I think that third stanza throws it off a bit. Not that I don't like unexpected twists! I just think those twists should be formed from profound content or subtle structure. However, the way you've laid this out screams LYRICS to me, so if you haven't put it to music, maybe you should consider it...

Your story is very sweet; I find it interesting that it's true. Sometimes I find it harder to write about things that are true than to make something up, so major kudos! The first paragraph confused me slightly. After reading over it, I thought maybe it was an I-blacked-out-and-this-is-what-I-saw sort of thing, but because it went to a scene right before the incident, it didn't really fit. I understand wanting to catch your audience, but I think you could rework it a little bit. Maybe a smoot...

I'm not generally one for free verse, but I think this is beautifully executed and very profound. It's somehow bittersweet, and I tend to like that in a piece--that it's not necessarily one feeling or another, but a combination. The only thing I wasn't sure about was the contradiction in lines 6 and 17; the letters are being written so they can be clearly read, but then you assume the receiver can't read...however, I could also see how this could be an intentional contradiction. Either way, t...

I like this; I think it'd be great as a structured piece with rhyme and meter, but that's not everyone's forte. For being free verse, it's good; and I liked the ending. The only line that tripped me up was 10; it might flow better if you just went ahead and dropped the "only" into 11. Altogether, an enjoyable read; thank you for sharing!

I love the subject; I can certainly relate. The form is not my favorite, but it's good for what it is. I definitely think you have a talent worth shaping. I think I'd like a different title, though; something a little more unexpected and more reflective of the piece. Overall, very nice!

I'm sure this was great more structured, but I think I like it much better this way. It's got a stream of consciousness vibe that I've always had a hard time achieving in a believable way. And I've had an experience like the one described in the piece, so I certainly feel connected. This style is generally not my favorite, but I really like this. Great job, overall. :-)