plushbunnygore's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Barkhamsted, CT
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 14
LOC: Barkhamsted, CT
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 14
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there.- bob dylan
I love to write. I don’t care if I am any good, you be the judge.
Oh I am a horrible speller, my grammar sucks and well I hope to be friends.
I do not write in a style.
I have been writing a series of short stories about a man named baby. check it out and let me know what you think.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
I wake up in morning fold my hands and pretend I wish that I had he convenience of regret Mourning you never did me right Looking into my mirrors eyes hear my withered cry: You must be an example not an excuse Everything you know will end the same And the mirror replies Everything you hate will stare you down quicker, than what you lost.
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
This is not a trumpets blow! nor the sound a dieing mule No this day !, today will never be anything To find love , to know love that is an average purpose I retain the right to count my blessings when I choose. I belong to nothing only you. Will I be better tomorrow will I reclaim what I lost if today is a memory , then what was the cost?
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
we met under a compromised sky painted with the hues that seemed so Familiar i watched her rip the stocking i saw as she tried to cry dear morning Oh yoU aRe coming on strong, your light is rather strange and your grace i mistake for rage please grab me a drink, rub it in good tonight is the only we chance have, to avoid mourning oh you are a sorry sight these eyes are too weak to embrace you, these arms too sore from reaching I would ask you what to do ,but the next step is not mine
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
For all the things I've long You became the least of my cravings Now die proud and strong Open wide and embrace the fears we are braving The masses line the street how many die in your Jesus name Marked by your lies only hollow shells remain Blood on the thrones Not only purify but justify The actions of a tattered flag while it Increases the hatred that is born Break free tradition Throw away foolish faith You hands are meant for mending not for prayer All your profits work on commission
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I heard them on the wind Calling all to arms and tell us all to Be careful when those siren sing "wyne your my baby boy" So band up my body with leather and lace Force on a helmet to try and save face I have not heard from you in many many years It upsets me to know that you still linger I thought that we were over this I had thought that we have done thing all before God I wish that you would strike me down And erase my mind She is still here in this room, she was hiding for that a...
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Reviews
I like this piece of work it is very easy to relate to, but at times it lacks a total flow, everything rode fine until I hit the lines "Im the Tears that u cry. Then why do u wipe them away? " I guess maybe think about the words you are ending it with more than anything. I am not much for critiquing cause I believe more in the essence and meaning behind a poem. Again I enjoyed it very much. thank you
Is it hot in here? Wow I have nothing for critiquing this is a very good piece, every line rang clear and attacked cleanly. Thankyou.
Ow!very powerful stuff, I was on that phone, I have set my heart aside to and been that advocate before. This piece is very easy to relate to, I have read this a few times and I can't find anything to critique for that I am sorry. The only thing I found was an uncapitalized (i). I love how it draws one in puts the reader in your shoes and ends with such a strong stand. Thank you.
At times it seems hollow in it self. I can relate to the topic and I have felt this way many times so the clarity is there and the essence of you topic is sound. I think overall it is very strong I feel that going over your words, and punctuation would help greatly.
You induced such full and radiant visuals nicely done I would agree with your suspicions and say I would love to see more about the cemetery. Punctuations go right ahead and continue to play around I think it works and makes the overall flow stronger.
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