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pjgron's profile
AGE:
53
LOC: Sandusky, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 24
LOC: Sandusky, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 24
I was born in Sandusky, Ohio in 1956 to Nicholas and Patricia Grondin. I am the seventh of twelve children, evenly split; six boys and six girls. My Father passed away in June of 1994 and my Mother lives in Sandusky, Ohio. Our family moved around a number of times when I was young; from Sandusky, Ohio to Bay City, Michigan, then to Maitland , Florida. We finally settled in the small rural community of Zellwood, Florida. I attended six different elementary schools in seven years from kindergarten through sixth grade. During my high school years I held a number of jobs, among them, working in the indoor foliage industry. Learning that many people made substantial livings in the indoor foliage industry I started a foliage nursery bus…
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Version 1
19 Reviews
20 Comments
A Lifetime of Deception Prologue February 1971 Abigail Jean Glover was on her back with her legs high in the air and her feet in stirrups. She was used to being in this position but this time she was in pain. Sweat poured from her face and neck as the nurses monitored her vital signs and those of her unborn baby. Her contractions were very close now and the Obstetrician was coaching her through her next moves. She didn’t trust the doctor or the nurses. They were all here at the request of the...
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Better than the first version that I read but still some mechanical problems. Look closely at punctuation and sentence structures. Several misspelled words, too. The story holds promise but I'm not into this kind of story. So you could probably add a point or two to each of the ratings and rankings. Just not my cup of tea. Good Luck. Pete
Not bad. You let out that big brother is a killer but not the how and why. Keeps the reading crowd interested. It depends on where it goes from here whether I'd keep reading but so far, so good. Pete
Man, the tension is thick in there. Great stuff. The only thing is you should get a good editor. With just a little editting, this is top notch. The way you describe the village and how the soldiers interact, just makes you visualize every move. Keep up the great work. Your story line is outstanding. The edit is your only weakness. With someone looking over your shoulder, that's an easy fix. Good Job. Pete
Now this is interesting. This has a neat little twist to it. There are a few spelling and punctiuation issues but those are easily cleaned up. You have questions without question marks and quotes without quatation marks but clean that up and we're good. The story. Where does it go from here? It's got my interest. I'd stick around to see where it goes. Pete
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