pavcrawphan's profile

pavcrawphan avatar
AGE: 31
LOC: Germantown, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 13

Serena M. Agusto-Cox is a Bachelor of Arts graduate of Suffolk University in Boston, still interested in the nuances of politics and the interplay of words on a page to create vivid imagery, convey meaning, and interpret the world.  She has moved from the sticks of small town Massachusetts to the outskirts of Washington, D.C. where she writes more vigorously than she did in her college seminars.  Poems can be read in issues of Beginnings Magazine, LYNX, Muse Apprentice Guild, The Harrow, Poems Niederngasse, Avocet, and Pedestal Magazine.  She is currently a writer and editor for Information Inc., a provider of information services to Fortune 500 clients and other businesses in Bethesda, MD.  Her hobbies include writing (short stories, no…

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews   7 Comments
Fingers, curled words on damp page.
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Opportunities
Short Story / Lenore
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
The fire rose high above us into the trees as we took our seats in our family boxes. My father at the far left, next to him my mother, myself, and my brother. Lenore was not here. I didn’t understand how the meeting could start without her. Meetings in the village did not start without all family members present. I sit and wait patiently as the elders speak, but really my eyes are focused on the flames as they crackle and rise higher into the canopy. I squint to focus harder on one or two fla...
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Poetry / Writer
Version 1
10 Reviews   6 Comments
Just honest comments and critiques please. Try to be as constructive as possible. Thanks!
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Reviews
This is an interesting quote, but I think it is too cliche. Perhaps another way to say lust would improve it. And is it the love of art school or the love for someone in art school that is lost to lust?
Haiku/Senryu / Haiku Police
This is an interesting twist on haiku given that it is not about nature, which is the general rule of thumb for haiku. I really love the first two lines, but the third one fell flat for me and could use more work. I played around a bit below. Just some ideas that came to me. Haiku police raid Round up syllables on the loose, lining thoughts up. Good work, keep writing.
Poetry / Shades of time
Locked
Poetry / Burnt bunny toes
This has a great deal of feeling and imagery packed into it. I enjoyed reading this. I do find a few lines disjointed from the rest of the poem: "after the afterglow" "for their loftiest gain" "and find lineages of future" I think these could be tweaked more in line with the poem's predominant rhythm. Additionally, I think that rather than "to create Beethoven jealousy;" jealousy should be moved to the front of the next line, so the lines read: "to create Beethoven jealousy on the chords of m...
Poetry / Genocide
This is a raw poem. I love the power in it. Just one typo: "imrisoned," I think you meant "imprisoned." Also, I think because there is a lot of power in this poem, I would suggest a few changes: In this line, "Culminating in an imrisoned soul;" I would change it to simply "imprisoned soul." For this line, "Justice in the unforgiving abyss;" I would modify it to "Justice: unforgiving abyss." In this line, "Dealt to those who wrongly crossed the line;" I think it needs to be shorter, like "deal...