oyodlerrr's profile

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AGE: 51
LOC: India
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 24

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Poetry / MEMORY
Version 1
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MEMORY My youth has fled and now i am weak My body droops and my bones they creak But as i lay back in my chair The life that I led comes back to me And I gaze at her picture who belonged to me. An angel from heaven, an angel on a wing Oh! out went autumn, in came spring And I can hear the nightingales sing. A joy to behold and a love to enfold. The hair on her forehead, oh lovely she was A pristine beauty without any flaws, Don't you hear from above the heavens applause. But me and my Ann co...
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Poetry / THE ANGEL
Version 1
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There lived this lady in a remote place Whom the Gods had blessed with every grace A lonely maiden whose smiling face Blew worry away leaving not a trace. She was my friend, I am proud to say A friend who always showed me the way A friend who wiped my tears away. My heart for her for ever shall pray. She was an angel if there ever was one Her joy and cheer spread to everyone To me she always will be second to none For me she will always be the only one. But her face was such that she always l...
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Version 1
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Smile when u wake up And the day belongs to you Smile when u wake up Though the reasons may be few Smile when u wake up And put the sun to shame Smile when u wake up And yours is the game Smile when u wake up The world is yours to tame Smile when u wake up Thats the way to fame Smile when u wake up Because u r my dame!
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Poetry / MY WOUNDED HEART
Version 2
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My wounded heart will never heal My lips will stay shut, never reveal The agony, the dejection, the rejection I suffered From the one I loved, adored and revered. Love begins with smile and grows with a kiss Its all wonderful while awhile and then the deadly hiss. My love for her was oh so true For me it was love, for her it was lust To this sad news my heart never can adjust. For those that must love, this lesson is a must Love with all your heart, but love yourself most.
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Version 1
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WHEN I AM DEAD AND GONE When I am dead and gone Do not weep for me my love I have left this sad and cruel world But will always love you from above Why weep for me a useless man Why tears for a garbage can Life is fickle and Destiny a villain Have suffered so much , all the heart wrenching pain It was my folly and my dreams were shattered It was agony for me, to you it hardly mattered I blame no one, its not in may nature My ashes will serve for wild weeds as manure If love must be true, so m...
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Reviews
Something told me this was good but as i went from one line to another, it sounded and felt weak. Some notable imagery in lines- like harvest disgust- too good to be wasted. Better luck in future forays.
Poetry / A boy
Sorry, but I failed to understand. Also the poetry fails where rhyme and rhythm are concerned. Perhaps the writer could make it simpler..cut the long sentences short and make every single sentence sound like poetry and not prose.But I wish the writer well and all the best in his/her future endeavors.
Failed to understand this though I tried hard. What exactly is the poet trying to say. Sorry, but simply could not make head or tail of it all. But maybe I am dense.
Poetry / A Feeble Attempt
Nice attempt ..definitely not a feeble one...short and pithy...shows promise. Keep it up.
Extremely good,,Every line is well placed and so thought-provoking. This evidently is a love poem. It has been beautifully done. The rhyme scheme -though honestly I dont understand much about that- is good. Best wishes.
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