otello's profile

otello avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: Port Hueneme, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 09

This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
How shall I worship you? With rosaries made from penitent Tears? A temple built of my breath and my limbs? Let us not pray that our hands do what lips do, for I dare not Touch that pale ripening flesh, smooth as alabaster, With hands that quiver with anxiety. Rather, let me Enter the temple, kneel at your thighs, so I may Become the object of the All Knowing Eye; The Pink Vessel of Time, pink as the virgin sky At dawn. May it transport me back to my clever And pious childhood; a treasure that...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Confessions
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Canto II I long for long hours with you in the dust at twilight. Can you conquer my cowardice with sandstone and foam? Mix me with the salt and fire from your hands? Your red hair, red as the dust that made me, Burns through my brain, leaving a sensation Of scars and wishes that bring mischief at midnight. Could I lie hand upon hand, limb upon limb And let the devil in my loins be consumed By the angel in your eye? I pray the fire in your flesh Shall purge and pollute me with purity again and...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / The Lonely Whore
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
It starts with a spasm in the middle of the night, slight pressure on the skull in the morning, thoughts that tempt and escape, then a hunger pain that swells up from hour to hour. He is always tugging at my skin. The extra dust bunny hiding in my dress shoes; never worn. There is always space for him on my calendar, mostly weekends. A migrain every Saturday lets me know my payment is due. He is an anxious pimp; an Oliver Twist with a modest snicker and a lazy accent. He nudges me toward anot...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Poetry / Desert at Dusk
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Clean air from the stars and dust, color the sky with a timeless shade of blue. The world slowly spirals downward into a brown bowl; the giants of the earth gather around and watch like naked limbs in twain, while pointing toward a maker, a quiet craftsman, a reason in the universe perhaps? We should hope so. The horizon reveals the secret of her intent. I hope she has something for me, wrapped in moonlight. These hot days come to lie down in the tombs of the desert The green hands of the sa...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Our Lady of L.A.
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
I.   I need you like the morning gloom of June. Cleanse me with the smoke of your pipes and the sweat of a million faces. I want to move at the speed of stand still.   You are firestorm and flood; asphalt and anorexia. You are long lanes and landslides.   Kiss me with the hiss of tide and foam. and hold me with the hot hands of the Santa Ana winds.   Consume me with the brown waves that wash over valleys filled with new vices.   II.   Am I your heir, your fortunate child?   I arrived on a whi...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Reviews
hmmm. I am familiar with the structure but not enough to critique it well. I applaud you for using it. It's a strict style. My first impression of a possible background was, a couple meeting to discuss divorce; "the meeting table sticky with humidity negotiators" I imagined a couple humid from the emotions and the monotony of paper work and formalities of their negotiators/lawyers. The "droning...evening rain" adds to the mood. Both parties are tired and have many other things to do. They bec...
Poetry / Pass the word
Very inspiring. It does read very much like a performance piece, as you mentioned. I like the dramatic pause in the lines "My (pause) how time flies when you’re pouring your life’s tale." It seems as though the speaker is the "young girl" and she is telling the story. I suppose the speaker could be telling us a story of a young girl in general, to awaken us, "To stand for a cause. Do what your gut feels. Maybe then, we can be like Marther Luther king jr. said." My favorite lines: "Can you tel...
Removed
Poetry / Further Ablaze
Locked
Wow. Brilliant imagery; especially of the sun. "The sun was setting, and his room was bathed in bright red light" and "soaking in the last warm rays as they disappeared behind the trees." I think you forgot to capitalize "focus" as in Ford Focus. The action and dialogue provides good insight into the characters' personalities. Stanley seems a little anal, while Lynn is more relaxed. I like the idea of using something simple and scientific, like static, to explain the potential magic and "bond...
Favorites

otello has no favorites yet.

People