nonodynamo's profile

I liked the non judgemental nature of the work. The writing was good but i would have liked more feeling at the start. The facts are facts but we do not know how you feel until later.

I am a little concerned by this. Stop your kicking implies rape. Also the way Bitch is added at the end. If this is what you intend fine. But I cannot support it.

This is hard to read I have read it four times and still cannot make sense of it. It is an explanation of a society and not yet an integrated story. I would like to see the rules unfold. There are so many. I am not sure how the Alice in Wonderland fits into the story. It is all very mad max and lord of the flies these kids making a hunting party. But why is Lewis Carol important in this world. It seems like a justification for the mask and nothing more. Also I am having a hard time caring abo...

This is confusing to me because the fast food and other ideas make me think you need to loose weight but the other part seems to be an image you are creating. I think it is better to be more clear. It is interesting that you think you need to unburden yourself for love but it is not enough to create another world.