newby's profile

I like your poetry. It is a nice twist that you put the animals in action and you will sit quietly as a girl. Maybe you can build this piece and write something about your soul searching.

Hi, thanks for the invitation. you got a wonderful work there. :-) I like your title and you end it with "keep the change". Nice work. But what is a D train? Sorry to ask because I am not from your place.

your story is short yet straight to the point. there are a lot of adjective describing more of the scene and i like the part you describe the emotion of the guy from his frustration, his memory and his anger (pushed the table, slamming of the door). and you end it really well with the closure that men thought they could cheat on their girl but not the other way.

i understand you were frustrated and angry during the time you wrote your work. i also understand you were dissapointed in your love life. but i would suggest that you go through your work again because there were quite some mistakes in your work like spelling, flow of the sentences and punctuations. your work would be better if those mistakes were attended to accordingly. keep up the good work. :-)

good story you got there and i enjoyed it. keep up the good work. :-) because i was not familiar with gypsy tales, i was kind of confuse with the story. you mentioned that there was a man rowing to the wife but at the end you said "three glenfnaeg brothers left soon after that", so the 3 brothers were there or only one? also were both the couples were already swan at the beginning of the story or they were changed into swan by magic?