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AGE:
18
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 05
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 05
This is always the hard part. The bio. Well, I’m a small town loner who has a tendency to always look at the dark side of things. I would much rather be weird than ‘normal’ and take being called ‘weird’ as a compliment. I write a lot, which scares people for some reason. I’m morbid, which again scares people. Music is my life. Seriously. I don’t think I would be able to live without it. I’m constantly forcing bands and songs onto people and trying to ‘convert’ them. I’m very good at that actually. I have an obsession with Europe and all of the music that comes from it. It really rocks. Seriously. What else can I tell you…hmm…Well, I talk a lot and am not afraid to tell you my exact feelings. Just a warning. I guess I should also warn…
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"Bill, go get your sister. Dinner is ready!" the mother shouted from the kitchen. "It's William, Mother," the boy harshly replied from the living room. "Just go get your sister." "Fine." William droned and rose up from the couch. He stomped up the stairs in anger, trying to send a message to his parents downstairs. "Be nice to her," the father ordered, standing at the bottom of the steps after hearing his son's heavy feet. William ignored him and swung open the pink door that was at the end o...
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Version 1
13 Reviews
2 Comments
She watched the blood drip steadily from her wrist onto the floor for a moment before lying down in the bed. The sound of her brother's busy footsteps in the hallway outside her bedroom became more and more faint as the seconds started to tick by. "It wasn't supposed to be like this." the girl whispered aloud to herself as tears pooled in her eyes. "It was." A strong male voice replied. The girl closed her eyes when she felt a warm hand graze her cheek. The girl opened her eyes after hearing ...
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It's sad that I could only read a little bit of this story but from what I've read, it's very good. The thoughts that the character are very detailed, which is a nice change from how a lot of stories are written today. The subtle 'flashbacks' are a nice bonus too. It really helps with the clarity of the story. Your detail is very well done. It's the little things that really help the reader get a picture of the character and the scene; such as "...twirling them around my finely trimmed nails....
Again, a wonderful sample. The metaphor about the bicycle and sex, very nice. It's one that I could actually pick out without having to guess at the meaning. I dislike writing where I have to take a guess at the true meaning of things. Bravo. I must read the full story sometime.
Overall, very funny chapter. The comparisons at the beginning are very true if one thinks about it. A woman really is like the fire and the man is the fuel that ignites her flame. Also the conversation between Felicity and Carolyn is hilarious. Awkward but funny. It made me think of what would happen if I had the guts to ask someone for such a toy... I really like the way this is written. It's written in a very 'real' way. Meaning that the dialogue is real; like someone would speak in real li...
Great blog/diary/journal entry. It's true that there are other ways of switching your mood and becoming 'happy again' without the use of medication. I think a lot of doctors nowadays overlook that and over-medicate people. I know when I had my suicide attempt and meltdown (yes I will admit that), the doctors put me on Zoloft. I was on Paxil to being with which, if you read the side effects, may trigger suicidal thoughts. The Zoloft gave me jitters and I ended up flushing the pills down the to...
This really is a great example of an introduction to a story. It gave just enough to make the reader want to read more. The vivid description of Danton is really amazing. "His jeans chinked with the sound of change in his pockets and his shoes were well kept." It's that line that really gives the story more power. A lot of authors tend to leave out sound when describing a character. Some of the technical biology terms could be left out but that's just my opinion. All in all, I would really li...
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