muses_own's profile

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AGE: 27
LOC: Houston, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 26

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Items
Poetry / After Love
Version 1
13 Reviews   0 Comments
Laying next to each other, Chests finally rising evenly, She reaches out to gently Take him in her mouth. His hand pushes her away. Tangled in the smell of him, She hears the shower start. Rising, a low sigh escapes. Sliding open the door, She watches water trace his shoulders. As he turns to look At the water pooling on the floor, She steps in closing the door. As he faces the water’s needling, She reaches out to touch his hair. But he isn’t there. Through the frosted glass, She watches him...
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Poetry / Georgia Peaches
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
To save the peach tree from Sticky red amber Globes of gummosis, One must very nearly Kill the tree. Stripped of its Skeletal branches, Rough grey-beige bark Cleaved, The hope is the roots Are healthy enough for it To bounce back. How like that diseased tree, We are constantly dividing. Hoping that destroying ourselves Will reveal a better self, the whole While praying we are strong enough To grow back.
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Poetry / Copse
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
The fruit has grown ripe and gone far from the tree, Even now it is on the ground, lost forever to that tree. They rush into each others arms, blindly, with no more Reservations than a squirrel diving down a tree. In an attempt to evade Apollo, Daphne begged to be saved - Transformed to a laurel, but raped still. Leaves torn from her tree. Legs splayed - bifurcating branches… the image evades, Attempted pretensions so staid, it does nothing but bore even a tree. Tapped and pouring out of chi...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   1 Comment
She saw the Moon’s lover swallow her whole. Her belly swollen, glowed softly with the weight Of the Moon. Bioluminescence at his best! Sand between her toes, she sheared the sky, Washing the fleece with the Sun’s tears, Before combing bruised sky with clear Gulf Afternoons. Deft fingers spun together Tufts of chill blue November with batts Of purple-orange City Glow, leaving stark Slubs of white and calm yellow-gray moments. Carefully she wound the sky around forked Lightning in figure-8’s, u...
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 Plus-button Clarity
Poetry / Trailer Park '88
Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
Minute by minute Time stretched That night that lasted forever Another indelible blot on me Ignore the voices Sleep, be still Creep out of bed Sounds echo down the hall Quiet as a mouse now See the shadows on the wall “Get up bitch, I’m not ready to kill you yet” It’s all just a shadow play. Hide in bed Pull up the sheets Stare at all the Pound Purries They find loving homes Think about them Didn’t hear no scream. Get the baby Get the teddy Get the pound puppy, the junk yard dawg Get the drea...
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Reviews
Children's / T-rex learns to Share
I have kids that are 3 and 8 and this is story I feel would actually fall between them. The story is too long for the attention span of the average 4 year old, and too simple for an 8 year old. The language is accessible to most children, and the story is engaging. One of the nitpicks my 8 year old would point out is that the lizard eats chocolate and bugs, and that the lizard lives in tunnels by a brook. Leopeard geckos eat bugs and live in the desert. She is a stickler for details, as are a...
Children's / Train Of Thoughts
This reminds me of a cross between Dr. Suess' Many Colored Days, and the Little Engine That Could. Overall I like it, but I think the language is stilted at times. The flow doesn't work quite right.
Children's / The Music of Birds
Locked
I love that you are celebrating your cat. I like the informal style. If you tightened up the structure and expanded the lines a wee bit you would have a killer ode.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Something personal
There are a few places were you mix tenses, but overall the story is quite effective and seems to go somewhere and mean something. I feel that the overall moment of clarity could be expanded on and that the moment could become more relevant to your audience. Overall, very effective storytelling.
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