First of all, let me give you high marks for excellent sentence structure and spelling; I've had a hard time with a lot of reviews due to those factors. In addition, you are presenting very vivid, tactile imagery. However, there seems to be half the story missing, sort of like listening to someone else's phone conversation (you only hear one half of it). What I am trying to say is, this composition is describing what seems to be a very critical moment in a person's life, but it is too interna...

Please don't regard the point ratings as any sort of final judgment; my impression is that this piece is a first draft. But the site wouldn't let me post my review without using the rating system. As far as the technical stuff goes, the spelling and sentence structure are good. However, clarity could be focused on in a few areas. To begin, I don't get the feel of a poem from reading this. I definitely don't mean that things need to rhyme, but perhaps getting creative with the organization of...

To begin, you have me at a disadvantage; I can't write lyrics to save my life, so it is difficult for me to make suggestions, especially without hearing music behind them. If I am understanding it correctly, you do a good job of describing the act of letting go of someone loved, choosing the other's happiness over the speaker's own. Here are a few changes I might suggest, just for rhythm & flow: "leave your luggage in the past, and walk through life with me" "fly like a bird through the wind...

First of all, I'd like to apologize for not reviewing this sooner; you requested a review a few months back and I've not been able to dedicate much time to reviews lately. Any way your use of opposite terms from one line to another is very strong and well positioned throughout the poem. "my friends grind like millstones" is a wonderful phrase for making the reader ponder several meanings. "My hands close like books" is absolutely eloquent. There is some phrasing that could benefit with some ...

First of all, apologies for not reviewing this sooner; you requested it a while back and I've had a lot going on. Well done on the dream aspect. It really made me wish I could have a dream about a life with someone I find special in my life right now, so this story definitely has an audience it will move deeply. I could easily relate to the bit when you kissed your friend and were terrified you'd made a huge mistake. I really love the simplicity of the proposal in the taxi; it emanates more ...

This did make me chuckle. It totally reminded me of morning afters some Friday night benders of my own. I could see it working beautifully as a caption for a one frame cartoon in something like Playboy or American Drunkard magazine. Vivid brevity; beautiful. It's up to you, but maybe even the word "coyly" may not be necessary. Nicely done.

While this would work very well on the inside of a greeting card and in that scenario touch a few hearts, I had to give a low rating for "poetry - overall". My reasons are these: 1) the passage is purely abstract. There is nothing to link the reader physically to the statement, and sensory references are the key to drawing the reader in to what you are writing (which is extremely difficult, I know, when you only have six words to spare). 2) "Love is forever"... that phrase has been thoroughl...

Nice work here. My favorite image: "oxymoron lip ring". My favorite passage: "The hero will weather the weather, whatever the weather". That is so fluid and lyrical, and very determined. You gave yourself (and your audience) a huge challenge here by using very little punctuation, and I would suggest putting some more thought into the way you organize some of the lines. The first three lines should be broken up somehow to let the reader digest what you are trying to say a little more slowly; t...

Please excuse my 4 ratings. I really don't like to rate things on a scale of one to ten; for me writing can't be broken down into a number rating. I do want to say that this poem does need some work to speak (at least to me) to the audience. It takes place very much in the abstract world of thought and emotion, which is what poetry is all about, BUT... as the reader, I need markers, signposts to guide me through it, and those markers are imagery that is commonly (but not run-of-the mill) ide...

Before I give my critique, please don't take my rating personally. This is a good first draft, but some structural issues and devices have to be addressed. First, the moon and rose have been very over-used as imagery for a couple hundred years or more in poetry. They are just not images that grab a reader's attention any more. The same can be said about directly personifying those natural objects. Perhaps you could make subtler inferences of similarities between you and the flower, and he/she...