mrsmcknob's profile
AGE:
35
LOC: Olive Branch, MS
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 06
LOC: Olive Branch, MS
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 06
I am my own worst critic. I wrote a memoir and published it online and subsequently received thousands of emails and an agent. Thinking the long road was over, I sat back and then recoiled in horror as the reality of the publishing world fell upon me and it chewed me up and spit me out.
Now, I’m back to basics and looking for input and critique. I greatly appreciate any time you spend helping me better myself.
Oh, and I like puppies.
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Prologue When the boy began to die, Finley frantically searched through the extensive knowledge in his head for a remedy or method to help save him. Despite having devoured numerous medical tomes in his years locked away, he had no idea how to heal his only friend. When he realized he was helpless to stop the child’s life from ebbing away, he did the only thing that love would have him do. He bolted into the street, found his voice and began screaming to a world that had never seen him....
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Crystal McKee World Rights (removed) The Crazy Chronicles by Crystal McKee Part 1: I Hate Tapioca, But I Make A Mean Pot-Holder Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost died? Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside? - Shinedown, "Stranger Inside" Saturday, 3:00 a.m. "Crystal? Sweety? Open your eyes." No, I thought. Why won't these fucking people just let me sleep? "Open up. I'm not leaving...
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The Crazy Chronicles A Memoir By Crystal McKee Literary Agent (removed) TABLE OF CONTENTS About The Crazy Chronicles……………………………………………………………...3 Overview 3 About The Book 4 About The Author……………&he...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
Prologue When the boy began to die, Finley frantically searched through the extensive knowledge in his head for a remedy or method to help save him. Despite having devoured numerous medical tomes in his years locked away, he had no idea how to heal his only friend. When he realized he was helpless to stop the child’s life from ebbing away, he did the only thing that love would have him do. He bolted into the street, found his voice and began screaming to a world that had never seen him....
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You really have a gift. Again, I have nothing negative to say, only grammatical corrections: if I smile TOO much, you have 'to' the only other thing I noticed is this wording: My sanity can get pretty bad. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me just because of the verbiage. Maybe revise? 'my sanity can abandon me'. I hate to put words in your mouth because you have a such a great voice, but the wording of that didn't feel right. excellent job!
Wow. I'm finding these poems that I have no critique for because I love them. So, all I have is grammar. I understand if you need a refund on the credits, but I honestly have nothing negative to say! comma between yourself and "how great love must.." because YOU'RE afraid, you have 'your' you have soon, should be 'sooner' keep writing!
I positively love this. The only thing I can see is that there's a missing apostrophe in the last "isnt". My only other suggestion is write more!
"you whisper again, softly." Use a comma instead of dashes. Period at end of "Here is pain." envelope (sp) Try to decide whether you want to capitalize or not. You vacillate back and forth and that makes it confusing to determine which attributes are actually characters (i.e. night, pain, etc). the use of "darkness" in the one sentence (overpowering darkness, etc.) seems very elementary. Maybe revise, using alternate words? "Overpowering blackness obscures light."
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