First of all, thank you for allowing me to review your short story. I found it very charming. It reminded me of the short-stories my son reads in school. It was clear, not too wordy and had a happy ending. It is a good piece for a younger child to read as it shows good deeds do not go unrewarded. I thought the neighbor's use of Jake's constant reply of "Anytime" was a nice touch. Good luck to you.

First, let me apologize for the delay in responding...I've been away on vacation and am just getting through my email! :) First, I found this very amusing. I think your "voice" is perfect for the story you are telling. I can visualize very easily what you're describing. Quite frankly, I have no problems with what you have written so far. I think this would work great for a short story as your 'telling' is spot on. Thanks!!

I don't read poetry often, so I really can't comment on your stanzas or how they are set up. I can understand the feeling you are trying to convey, the need and indicision. I am confused though as to who's point of view we are seeing...your title indicates it is from the eyes of a female; but halfway through it seems like it changes to a POV from a male. I think if you straightened that out, you'd have a nice poem. Good luck!

Nice.

I don't read poetry as a rule, so I can't critique your structure, etc. I was a little confused in trying to visualize the imagery you were speaking of. I thought some of your lines were very striking. I think if some of the verses were reworked it would be a nice piece.