mistressmeiko's profile

Begin the piece with _Your wife could be a tigris looking for the biggest fuck ever experienced and she got stuck with a scrabble-playing wet-fart like you. Well don't feel bad for her - she's not hiding her light under a bushel. I can see it, other guys like me can see it. Bad people see the bad in everyone, we kindle it._ Speak less of how hoors and nuns might think and behave, and more about what my wife does (definitely), how and with what genus of organic produce. If you want people top ...

I enjoy how you confront me, through use of the word "you." This immediately forces me to question myself and this poem's applicability to me, so makes it personal: an experience of mine rather than your experience described. I take issue with _cloaked in darkness_ and _steal you away_. I think you could strive for more originality in these cases. There are a few instances in which you answer the very question a verse exists to ask, when it might read less redundant implied elsewhere. Sometim...

The imagery is sound, but stay away from such overplayed word-couplings as "brought down," and "honest woman." People are _falling from grace_ in poems everywhere. It is practically a international crisis. Why Guinevere? The poem might resonate more deeply if you align the character's experience with your own somehow, unless you intend to make this an historic piece, in which case more detail ought be supplied. Thanks for sharing.