miss_mandy's profile

Loved this poem. I felt like I didn't really understand where in the world you were talking about, there are many places this could portray. The very last line is so powerful and it ties it all together. It is true that there is so much tragedy happening in the world right now and often all we hear about it is a quick sentence in our nightly news, if that. I don't think your poem suffers at all from the lack of cadence, you don't need cadence to right a powerful poem which is what you have do...

I almost passed this poem by, I was skimming through it and then I saw the line about Brother Bear. Up until then I thought you might be talking about a dog. The rest of the poem grabbed my heart. The last line made me think about the surreal possibility of this occuring in my own life. Would it get any easier? Would seconds turn to minutes and then to hours to stretch out the time between painful memories? Nice work, a poem is a poem to me if it causes introspection

I love the simplicity of this poem, I immediately connected myself and my own life. The only thing I didn't fully understand was where you said "Take away All that is sad All of me All that is bad" Do you want "all of you" to be taken away? or only the bad parts of you? Great work

A picture is formed easily in my mind of a child running around discovering the wild. It draws me in, the only thing I find confusing is at the beginning you are speaking in past tense "as a child I played" and at the end you are in the present, "I'll come back tomorrow".